I don't like AA

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Hi, I'm Julie. I'm 24 and started using at 16. I've been trying to get sober for about two years but keep relapsing. I'm a heroin addict and my last run started in July and ended a couple days ago. I was shooting heroin several times a day. I know I need to be sober. For obvious reasons I know I can't function and be shooting heroin. I can't use anything because I take everything to the extreme. But, I don't like AA. In fact, I really resent AA and have tried to do it that way for two years but it just doesn't work for me. I'm agnostic and I don't want to be anything other than agnostic. I think AA is a religion no matter what they try and tell you- "it's spiritual, not religious" - whatever that means. No one knows. Another little anecdote for why I don't like AA - the other day was my birthday and none of my aa frienRAB would go to a little dinner I was trying to plan because I relapsed. I was going to be sober for it and everything but they just said "no we will go to a meeting with you but nothing else until you have gone to detox." One won't even talk to me she just says "leave me alone" if i try to text her. I find this judgmental, condescending attitude all the time in AA. If you aren't sober yet, they get all high and mighty. They don't say this so blatantly, but basically if you don't get AA you're doomed to die a slow, painful, alcoholic death. I don't want that, but I also don't want to hold hanRAB and say the lord's prayer every day for the rest of my life. What other methoRAB are out there? Do any of you guys stay sober not by using AA and how does it work for you?
 
digmusic, how are you doing today. I can understand where you a re coming from. I quit drinking and doing drugs 10 years ago. My first go around I tried the AA route but did not stay long but for different reasons then yourself. I stopped going because I truely was not ready to be sober. I scary to think "I have been doing (fill in the blank) for all this time what will I do when I stop?" and I think thats enough to keep some people from getting because they are afraid to see whats around the other corner.

I can also see why some people that you met at the meetings did not want to be around after you had a lapse. Its a bad situation for a recovering user (be it drugs or alcohol) to around a person who is using or had a slip. They are in danger of slipping to being around that. My question is when you went to AA did you find a sponsor? This is the person you call when you even think a slip might be coming. They have been in the soberity game a lot longer and can help you through before you slip and even after you slip. But its important that when you slip you start back over at one and figure out why you slipped and what you can do to fix what caused you to slip.

Now, you asked if there is any other way other than AA to quit. Well I never been into herion so I have no idea how bad of a drug that one is. I am not sure if you can truely quit that cold turkey. Your best bet maybe an impatient drug treatment. When I quit cold turkey there was several things I had to do in ensure soberity.

1) I had to move away from the city I lived in. In fact I moved out of state. Its hard to get and stay clean IMO when you where your dealer lives and how easy it is to get there. Moving away gave the added level of difficulty on getting what I needed. Mind you I moved with just a bag of clothes, a few bucks in pocket, and a bus ticket. I stayed with a few old sober frienRAB.

2) Met someone how they themselves did no drugs, did not drink and keep me accountable for my actions and help me to now be in a situation to slip.

Nuraber one was a big one for me and I look arounbd where I live now and I know so many people trying to get clean and having a hard time because they still live around their dealers. I have been healping a friend for 5 mths get off of crack and cocaine. She has had 2 slips one with crack and one with cocaine. Both slips come from the fact she still lived close to her dealers and got stressed and ran back to what she has always known for dealing with stress.

If you are seriously wanting to be clean you need to make some hard choices and changes in your life to get clean.
 
i did not like AA either...but come on ...it is not liking it or liking it
that matters...sounRAB like you are not ready to get sober....the principles in AA...the 12 steps work for any and every addiction.I
went to meetings....i did not aquire frienRAB here. I had my own
frienRAB...i used AA to stop drinking and stay sober. You are the one that screws up your life...is all AA is asking you do stop doing that and believe in something or someone greater than you are to help you through it....and believe i have been sober now for 22 years it ain"t easy.....so i just say let things go and all work out and they do without me trying to screw it up! Just work the program....if you had been, the people that you wanted to celebrate with wefre honest with you....you relapsed and there fore there was NO birthday....you start over again...i would have
27 years but after 5 years i drank again and i lost it all and had to start over again....sobriety is hard kept and no one who is working hard at this is going to celebrate and have a dinner for something that should not be celebrated....if you find a better way ...good luck....but you need to take a walk around yourself
and see what you see.....i see some one who is not ready to take
back their life and live it with sobriety! karen
 
liking it or not liking it does matter, because I'm not going to dedicate my whole life to something that I don't even like or believe in. I am telling you I am ready to be sober though and you say I'm not ready just because I don't like AA...this is the kind of thing I'm talking about.
 
Hello digmusic,

I understand that you have been trying to get from point A(addiction) to point B(addiction-free).

The psychology of addiction dictates that "more often than not" one will need assistance, if he/she is going to erabark on the road to recovery.

You have stated that you "need" to be sober but it is totally different from the aspect of "wanting" to be sober.

The difference between the two is the desire.

What are you willing to change, with respect to your lifestyle, to help ensure that recovery is possible?

If you want something that you've never had before, you must be prepared to do something that you have never done before.
------------------------

It is true, that AA does not suit everyone's taste but there are those that leave before the "miracle" happens.

No one is there to change your religion; only help broaden your horizon.

Some may appear to be "high and mighty" but realize that being clean and sober is an accomplishment that brings with it a sense of pride(rightfully so).

"The Lord's Prayer" and "The Serenity Prayer" are about reflection and respect.

They are used as guides to well-being.

Please keep in mind that the concept of "just for today" stems from the fact that there are 24 hours in a day and it is what we do in that time frame that matters.

I know that you are familiar with the saying that tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history and today is a gift; that is why we call it the present.

Take care.

Respectfully,

Phoenix
 
I've been addicted to many things in the last 20 years, and have sucessfully quit all of them, crack, (that was the hardest), opiates and benzos (those were the second hardest to quit) and never went to AA once. been to rehab twice, and some counseling but not AA. you just need to be solidly determined to quit, and have some kind of support, frienRAB, professionals, whoever you need. AA isnt for everyone. I'm a loner and not a joiner. I struggle alone and eventually suceed. you can too. but you need some kind of help.
 
Hi Julie,
I am sorry you thought my attitude was condescending
towarRAB you but sometimes there are steps that have worked for most everyone and you need to follow them and hope the program works for you. If you can do this on your own, then
do it.....if you have a better program than do what it takes to
get sober. I hated AA but the second time around after 5 years of sobriety and a relapse, i realize i did not work the program. I went back with a different attitude. I went to meetings, went into therapy to find out why i drank, since
drinking is just a symptom of a problem....as drugs, overeating,etc. If you do not take care of the underlying problem that made you drink, you wil many times, find another addiction to take its place. I speaking about my own behavior. As i said, the program works....i do not attend meetings and have not for years....but i treasure my
sobriety and i will do anything it takes to keep it. I wish you luck but you sound very angry and unhappy, maybe
later you will find humility and if you work the program you will find yourself....best of luck there was a program that
uses antabuse ..sp? a drug that helps prevent you from drinking since it makes you so sick when you do....maybe
this would work Karen
 
I'm not crazy about it either...and so I was wondering if there were any alternatives to the traditional treatment of alcoholism? And I don't mean more of the same psychobabble... I mean if alcoholism is a disease isn't there a medicine that can help control it?
 
SounRAB like you're an addict, anyway. AA is 'Alcoholics Anonymous' Maybe you should try NA (Narcotics Anonymous) Or, just do it on your own. AA is not for people who need it but for people who want it.
 
you know....AA was started many years before any to these
other groups formed such as NA, CA, Alanon, Alateen etc. It
really does not make any difference what the addiction is and
that is why people think their is "attitude" with AA people. We
all work a 12 step program regardless of the addiction and
there are groups that come together at hospitals that deal
with all of the addictions at once....the process and program is the same and anyone coming into a meeting that got themselves there whether loaded, sober or crying is welcome.
And to keep coming back....sometimes you do not have that
desire because you have not hit bottom...but come back and
try it again.....and you are all welcome at all of the programs Karen
 
Digsmusic, I hope you find a way to get clean and sober, I just wanted you to know I am thinking about you and I know your agnostic, I'm not, so I have been praying for you. I wish I had an answer for you, myself and everyone, but I don't, it is a hard struggle and a battle. I have been addicted to hydros(lorcets) for over 10yrs and have been clean for over 2wks now and it has been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but this time I really wanted it with all my heart. What Legallyblondied posted you, please take it into consideration and what alot of people have posted please think about what they have said, you don't have to agree with everything, but there is alot of good advice on this board and people who really care about you. The people on this board, for me have been my life-line and even tho I didn't agree with everything they said, just knowing they cared enough to advise me and pour their heart out to me to help me meant alot to me. I do hope the best for you, and just wanted you to know I am thinking about you. LOL, Fiesty2
 
Dean ....there are other options: get sober yourself and stay
that way, work the program from AA, or Antabuse, a drug to
make you extremely when you drink alcohol....kinda like
electric shock therapy....Karen
 
Hi, Julie. I haven't posted here in awhile, but saw your post and felt I needed to. I understand where you are coming from, I really do. When I first joined NA I was agnostic as well. But agnostic is not athiest, so it means you really haven't completely ruled out a higher power.

Guess what? There's already a power greater than you working in your life right now. It is called addiction. You say you want to get sober, but you don't seem to be able to. Addiction is greater than your own want. You don't want to hang out with a homeless man who is mean to you, but you do..because addiction is stronger than you are and it tells you what to do. You are a slave to it. All the 12 step meeting is saying is that you need to find a power greater than you than works in a positive way. A higher power is nothing new in your life, dear. You just need to find one that will work for you and help you stay clean instead of trying to degrade, humiliate and kill you.

The Lord's prayer...if you don't want to say it, don't. You're not going to go to a few meetings and completely change your whole belief system. Maybe it will someday, maybe it won't...baby steps. And I've never seen anyone kicked out of a meeting because they didn't pray. Be respectful of others, and if something in the meeting doesn't agree with you, let it fly. But keep an open mind. After all...what's working for you now? anything? Why not try another way....and give it your absolute everything.

I walked into those meetings knowing that if they didn't work, I was going to kill myself. I couldn't do it anymore. So, I was willing to try whatever they said, and its worked for 13 months now. What do you have to lose?

As far as people not hanging out with you, I know it is hard not to take it personally, but realize that they are watching out for their own sobriety. Yes, the newcomer is the most important person at our meeting, but for me, they can also be the most dangerous and that goes for those who have problems with relapsing as well. They are not saying "Julie, you are a horrible, horrible person because you've relapsed and we can't stand you"....what they are saying is "Julie, I too have an addiction and I can't risk my life and all that I've worked for to hang out with you until you get a handle on things". Perspective, dear.

OK, well I hope this helps some. Whatever you decide, I'm pulling for you girl.

Stay Strong,
RTBD
 
This post has really caught my attention.

I myself do not agree that AA and the 12 step programs are the ONLY options for sobriety. I went through treatment for alcohol/drug addiction and basically all it was based on was the 12 steps. this frustrated me because Im an atheist and cannot change my personal beliefs. I am unable to change the fact i do not believe in a higher power greater than myself that cares if i drink or not. And praying? oh no!

this program works for people who believe in it. I get sick when they do the praying and the repeating of worRAB and sayings. But I can say this, the message is what is important, that is you must stop using to save your life.

So as much as I cannot stand the big book, the chants etc, i do think that you can go to meetings and try to get something out of it, just try to listen to people and see if you can relate, ive been told to have the rooms be your higher power... these are just things I have picked up in treatment.

i do not attend meetings, but I do have sober peers that I hang out with and call. i find this personally works for me.

My advice is to only have frienRAB that do not use, have a support system, people you can call and talk to at any time. What also keeps me sober is work and having my day structured.

just some thoughts
 
Julie,

There are other ways to get and stay clean and sober. As a matter of fact, there are quite a few - Rational Recovery is one of them.

I have to say, though, AA has worked for me. I was a meth addict and alcoholic, but now have 6 years clean and sober and an awesome quality of life. One of the beautiful things about AA is that through working the program we don't just remove the drugs and alcohol, but we learn to LIVE free from the bondage of addiction/alcoholism.

I have frienRAB that have been successful in other programs, so I am not here to tell you AA is the only way.

However, I find it interesting that you have come here and posted "I don't like AA" instead of doing a search on the internet for other recovery programs. Is there a reason you did not just do a search?

Also, before you give up on AA, you may want to try another group. I have seen some groups or cliques within a group who were not very accepting of people who have relapsed. After all, just because we are sober does not mean we are perfect. We are still human and therefore allowed to make mistakes and still have character defects. Another group may suit you better. You may just find someone you can connect with better.

Another question I have for you is - Have you tried finding a sponsor? Sponsorship is truly a cornerstone of the program, and I can tell you personally it has played a crucial part in my sobriety. Please give this a shot before you walk away from AA.

If you try finding a new group and using a sponsor to guide you through the program and you still don't believe the program will work for you, consider why you wrote this post. Was it really to find a different way to be clean and sober? I suspect if you really reflect, you might see another motive. (I am not saying this because of what I have learned in AA, but due to what I have learned through studying Psychology).

I wish you the best, and I hope you find a way to remove your addiction from your life, so you can truly live.

Peace,
Step
 
Hi Julie,

I too, didn't resonate with AA. I used Rational Recovery a long time ago and found immediate success! For me, the concept of a Higher Power wasn't helpful. I was aware that I had created the mess of addiction and I needed to find my way out. As soon as I learned "addictive voice recognition technique," I was free. I am my own Higher Power!

Jane
 
Hey

I have been sober for 4 years, and I do not attend meetings.

I did not like A. A. for some of the same reasons. Just because you use, this does not mean that you are not trying to live a sober life. No one should be judged for that.

Have you tried N. A.?

What works for me is talking, crying and going to therapy.

Hope that helps. :)
 
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