I Demand My Money Back!! The Worst Films You've Ever Had To Sit Through

I have only really skimmed the surface of shit really with the ones i have listed there.

You see, the way i gauge shit films is ones that have a decent budget and a decent cast should be given more ridicule than the cheap and nasty straight to video/DVD detritus like, i dunno, Jack Frost(a truly dreadful and cheap horror movie about a killer snowman) or The Erotic Witch Project(a derisory softporn version of the then-overly hyped horror film The Blair Witch Project) because the people who make those films know they're making something that the majority of people are going to say "this film is really bad" but the Hollywood films that have a budget of $50 million dollars think they're making something thats got great production values, a top notch greenlit script and a cast of talented people, and yes on paper they do but onscreen, they don't and they deserve every bit of negative criticism that comes their way.

For example, i remember a pair of films came out called Mission To Mars and Red Planet, two films about, erm, astronauts going to Mars and then 'fings start to go wrong innit' and thats both plots in a proverbial nutshell so despite the casts and special effects, both films were dire and about as exciting as flicking through a carpet sample catalogue, so it makes you think "why is it John Carpenter can spend next to nothing on Dark Star and make a genuinely enjoyable movie out of that and then these hacks have spent something close to a Third World Debt on making this load of garbage?".

I also noticed i forgot to add the Robert Zemeckis-helmed shitfest What Lies Beneath to my list too:eek:
 
I like Eraserhead. I saw it once in a tatty old cinema where the projector light didn't really seem to be working so it was almost totally dark. It added to the atmosphere I thought. :D

For dire arthouse stuff I would have to say Derek Jarman's Sebastiane (and I love some of his stuff). It seems to last about 300 years, is in Latin, and if you don't like endless slow-mo shots of running naked men there really isn't much to enjoy.

Hollywood horror for me is Evita - hideous music badly sung throughout.

The actual worst film I have ever seen in a cinema is possibly an evangelical Christian film (I know, I know) starring Cliff Richard and a leading lady who looks like a squashed goblin, obviously chosen for her piety rather than her looks. They have the worlRAB least hot romance EVER accompanied by appalling songs. I have never met anyone else who has ever seen or even heard of this film and am beginning to wonder if it was an evil fantasy brought on by eating too much cheese.

Edit: For a film that got glowing reviews, The English Patient was a bit bloody slooooooooooooow.
 
You're like a broken record. Either that, or just very stupid.




Either way, now you know they're similar, and therefore Revelian's post is still a valid comparison, which is ultimately what I've been trying to say all along.

Not once did I say that you shouldn't have seen it, or were daft to have seen it. The fact you're still referring to how you've never heard of the Scary Movie/other Movie franchises is just bizarre and completely out of context. :confused:
 
The Sound of Music (an old classic apparently!!)
The Station Agent (WTF was the point to this film exactly? In fact has anyone even heard of it?)
Alpha Dogs (gave up)
Star Wars 1's a bit cack but its not as bad as the others in my list, it's just a shame you have to watch that one if you want to watch what is otherwise a brilliant saga.
 
Batman and robin- god oh god why, mr freeze, poison ivy,
absolutely god awful film, and i like alot of crap
And ive just seen Teeth this week?????????? wtf
dont know what i was expecting but what i saw wasnt it...
 
I liked this film.:D
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull was a very bad film. Might be because I didn't have a clue what was going on because i haven't ever seen the others.
 
EH? So you watched a monster movie but your favourite bit was before the monster appeared? I suggest you watch the 1997(ish) Godzilla now that's a PROPER waste of time monster movie.
 
Vanilla Sky has to be a contender.

Any of the Scary/Epic/Date Movies

Mission To Mars

U571

Runaway Bride

sadly alot of these are DVRAB I own!
 
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle - Coronation Street handled a similar storyline much better.

Backdraft - Utter sh!te

Meet The Fockers - What can I say? I'm ashamed to admit that I went to the pictures to see this pile of manure :o but on the plus side, I didn't pay for my ticket :D

Brokeback Mountain - Heath Ledger just mumbled his way through it - I couldn't hear a word he said (perhaps I need my hearing tested). Over-hyped crap.
 
They kept the filming of it secret and "Cloverfield" was just a working title, along with a few others such as "Cheese". The name Cloverfield was reputedly taken from a sign outside JJ Abram's office window. When the viral marketing campaign became successful everyone started referring to the mystery film as Cloverfield, so they stuck with that title. I think that's how it happened.
 
TC is a strange one. He alternates betwen some very good films and some quite awful dribble. The general rule I follow is if he's the only major star, it'll be rubbish. If he's got some good quality co-stars, the films are usually pretty good and his performances can be high quality.

Examples of bad films (where he's the only 'star')
MI2/3
Minority Report
Days of Thunder

Examples of bad films (where the co-stars are poor)
Far & Away
Vanilla Sky
Eyes Wide Shut

Examples of good films (where the co-stars are good)
Collateral
Jerry Maguire
M:I
Interview with the Vampire
The Firm
A Few Good Men
Rain Man
The Colour Of Money

The exception I would say is Born on the Forth of July.
In general it's a coin toss whether a TC film will be good or bad.
 
Bicentinial Man.
Garfield.
Zodiac.

The top two were not my choice, my brother wanted to see them and they were utter tripe. Zodiac starts well, and then tails off, it may have worked if it were just 90-120 mins in length but i think it was about 150? Far too long- my friend actually fell asleep in it!
 
NorfolkBoy1 said:
I'm all for people being entitled to an opinion, but REALLY?

Those are two of the most original and thought provoking screenplays of the last ten years.

Inception's curent IMDB rating makes it the third best film of all time (sure, that'll level out a bit but it's going to stay in the top ten), while ESotSM is 60th, not bad for a quirky and massively confusing indie flick (albeit with MASSIVE stars).

I'd be interested to hear what you thought of films like Avatar and Transformers, now THEY bored me sh**less.[/QUOTE]

I really like Avatar. I didnt like Transformers 2. A confusing mess like Inception.
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