...life ever be the same again? I’m a 29 year old interior designer married to a 34 year old Electrical Engineer named Jake. We’ve been married a little over a year now and he has just recently gone into remission from a bout of testicular cancer. My last relationship before Jake ended because I lied to the guy I considered the love of my life about being pregnant and aborted the child without telling him because I knew without a doubt that continuing the pregnancy would ruin my life.
A few months into my marriage my ex Eli came back into the picture only to realize I was now married. We never really had closure because he moved to another state after he found out about the abortion and started spending an awful lot of time together which Jake was aware of and trusted me enough not to have an issue with it.
One night he did something so very sweet , something he used to do when we were together that always made me smile and as all those feelings came rushing back, we spend the night together. I felt incredibly disgusted and ashamed of myself and after spending a week trying to work up the courage to tell Jake, he tells me his diagnosis.
I never told him because he had more than enough to deal with but now I’m finding it impossible to keep it from him much longer as I simply can’t bring myself to be intimate with him. Every time I try, I remember what I’ve done and I just feel sick. He thinks it’s him and I’m no longer interested because of the surgery.
I don’t want to hurt him. No man has ever treated me this well before. I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me over a memory and I don’t know where to go from here. Do I tell him the truth and risk his health getting worse from the stress of it or do I let him keep thinking I don’t want him? Please help me.
A few months into my marriage my ex Eli came back into the picture only to realize I was now married. We never really had closure because he moved to another state after he found out about the abortion and started spending an awful lot of time together which Jake was aware of and trusted me enough not to have an issue with it.
One night he did something so very sweet , something he used to do when we were together that always made me smile and as all those feelings came rushing back, we spend the night together. I felt incredibly disgusted and ashamed of myself and after spending a week trying to work up the courage to tell Jake, he tells me his diagnosis.
I never told him because he had more than enough to deal with but now I’m finding it impossible to keep it from him much longer as I simply can’t bring myself to be intimate with him. Every time I try, I remember what I’ve done and I just feel sick. He thinks it’s him and I’m no longer interested because of the surgery.
I don’t want to hurt him. No man has ever treated me this well before. I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me over a memory and I don’t know where to go from here. Do I tell him the truth and risk his health getting worse from the stress of it or do I let him keep thinking I don’t want him? Please help me.