I am your better. Do as I say.

[Ravenman]

Every day, I take the DC metro train to and from work. For those outsiders, the Metro system isn't known for its, let's say, "competence". There are two ways to pay for the trip- either a paper fare card that you insert into the gate or a RFID card that connects to an online account. Most people use the latter SmarTrip card for various reasons. Well, mine quit working. It wouldn't read at any of the gates.

So I had to mail it in for a replacement. It's supposed to take 3-5 business days to get a new one. It's been 7 so far. So I'm still using paper cards.

I go to get on the train today and find that it'll arrive in 2 minutes. The next one isn't even on the board yet, so it'll be at least 15. I insert my paper ticket and it says I don't have enough money left. Just $1.10 instead of the minimum $1.20 or whatever.

I run back to the ticket machines. First one- doesn't accept bills. Second one- fare card slot isn't working. Third one- says "out of service" which ironically makes it the best working one there. Fourth machine, the greatest malady of all- a flock of tourists. We're talking 30 or 40 people all trying to use the same machine.

Train pulls into the station, so I say "screw it" and tailgate someone through the entry gate. I run to the escalators but, of course, there are tourists standing on the wrong side, blocking the walkers. I curtly say "excuse me", surprised that I could curtail my rage enough to still use polite words, and barely hop on the train, whose doors still manage to smash me as I enter as if to say "fuck you again."

Now so far it's been machines and clueless people that have pissed me off. But then I encounter Power Trip Jamal, Metro Employee Extraordinaire (PTJMEE). I approach him.

Me - "Excuse me, sir (yes I did say that), the entry gates didn't take my ticket."
PTJMEE - "Didn't take it? You came in with a bad card." ::snatches my card::
Me - "No, no, it just doesn't have enough money on it."
PTJMEE - "Ah ha! How you get on the train then, hmm?!"
Me - "The machines weren't working in [starting station]."
PTJMEE - "Ain't none of the machines broken [there]. I've had people come through all day from there and non'a them be saying the machine's broken."
Me - There are a million explanations for that, dolt.
Me - "Yu huh, one's not taking bills, one's out of ser-"
PTJMEE - "What you did is called 'fare evasion'."
Me - No shit. That's why I'm here now.
Me - "I just need to put more money on the card(, so let me through the gate)."
PTJMEE - "You needed to see the station manager at [start], not do this here. Go put your money in and come back."

So I do that, enter the gate, exit the gate, and leave. But PTJMEE, fuck you and your lecture. Do I have a fanny pack and a bottle of water? No. Do I have a suitcase and a map, standing around looking lost? No. Am I wearing slacks and a tie? Yes. I'M NOT A FUCKING TOURIST. Yes, I evaded the fare...because your fucking machines don't work, as usual. And don't call me a liar when I tell you so because you know fucking well that those things are pieces of shit. You know your system thinks it does a good job when it goes a week without killing somebody. Here I am, trying to correct the situation and you're reading me the riot act from your pedestal of moral superiority.

Listen carefully. I'm smarter than you, better at my job, and take care of myself better than you do. In other words, I am superior to you. So next time when I tell you I need to put money on the card, you say "OK" and let me do my thing. I don't need to get in a pissing contest over $1.85 with you. I'm not some hood rat that's trying to get out of paying for my ride. I'm just a guy on his way to work, trying to work with your fucked up system.

So again, fuck you, your machines, Metro, and all your racist, nose picking, sleeping-on-duty, GED-sporting, power-tripping coworkers.

Next week, I'm taking the helicopter.

I say this as a long-time DC resident.

Are you an intern?

Because this type of arrogance and "the rules don't apply to me because I'm awesome" is very common among petulant young men and women who assume that because they have worked in some Big Government Office in Charge of Something Big for a whole two months, they can do anything they want.

You jumped a turnstile and blamed it on everyone but yourself. You should have gotten a citation from Metro Police.

Next time, stand in the fucking line with everyone else. And get off your high horse, you self-important little shit.

 

[Hawkeyeop]

I did exactly what an honest citizen would do.

After you broke the law, which is kind of the problem.

 

[Captain Amazing]

Don't they have add-a-fare machines within the gates for just this situation?

The add a fare machine is when you go in with your card, but then don't have enough money on your card to pay the exit fare. So, if you have a $1.50 on your card, and go in, and then at the end of your ride, the fare is $2, you can use the add-a-fare machine to put on the extra 50 cents.

The OP just walked through the gate without putting his fare card in, so the card doesn't have any record of his entry into the system, so it can't figure out the fare.

 

[Chessic Sense]

It's more like you have a pre-paid card, don't have enough money on it to buy what you want on it, all reloading machines but one are broken, so instead of waiting for the one functioning machine, you just take the Big Mac, eat it, and pay for it when it's convenient.

Almost exactly. It's more like a soda than a Big Mac and "when it's convenient" is when there's a free cashier. You ever drink some of the soda or eat some fries in the cafeteria before you actually get up to the cashier? It's like that. Yes, you're supposed to pay, then eat, but it's busy today and you're hungry, so you eat some and then pay when it's your turn. No big deal, right?

 

[PlainJain]

Class exists, but it sure can't be bought with money.

That's why I rent it!

Well then good God man, start using it. I bet you wash your hair with Perrier and light your cigars with 100 dollar bills too, dontcha?

 

[Jack Batty]

Grammatical tip: neither "black" nor "white" are proper nouns.

 

[woodstockbirdybird]

Those damn uppity negroes, fucking up the white man's day yet again. When will appropriate legislation be passed? I bet it's the liberal PC douches in Congress who are holding it up.

 

[Bridget Burke]

....True enough. I've been riding the DC metro for 12 years, and tourists are the bane of every commuter's existence. Seriously, people of the United States, there are other places you can vacation in and take your 50 kid school groups to. And if you're going to come, stand on the right, at least.

DC Metro was Federally funded; we all paid for it, so we all have the right to use it. If we're smart enough to figure out the rules, that is.

Most tourist days start rather late--if commuters get annoyed, perhaps they ought to leave for work earlier.

 

[Jenaroph]

So tell me - how is Jamal meant to know which of these two situations occured?

Because situation #2 wouldn't happen. What that Chessic Sense would do would be to just jump the exit gate and not pay anything at all. So it's highly likely that someone honest enough to approach you to pay would be honest enough to pay the correct amount.

You are amazingly naive if you believe this. Jamal's probably griping on a message board today about the intern this morning who jumped the entry turnstile and told him a tale of broken machines and tourists to get out of paying his full fare.

 

[Chessic Sense]

Don't they have add-a-fare machines within the gates for just this situation?

They have the machines, but not for this situation. Those machines are for when you don't have enough money to exit your gate. That wasn't my problem. My issue was that I didn't have enough money to enter the gate. So my ticket wouldn't work in an exit gate anyway, because it doesn't "know" where I got on the train, so it doesn't know what to charge me. You can't use a ticket to exit if it was never used to enter.

Why the hate for tourists? I love tourists! As a NYC resident I am fully aware that the entire reason this city has the museums, restaurants, shows, and events I love is because of the tourists who come here and spend their money in my fair city. In fact the only reason we have such rockin' public transportation at such a low cost to me is because of all the tourists. Seriously, I can go anywhere in the city at pretty much any time of day or night for less than $90 per month because of the millions of people that spend 4 or 5 days here at a time and pay $2.25 per ride to supplement the MTA cash flow. If you have an issue with tourists in your city please send them here! I would love to have more people pouring their dollars into my local economy even if it does mean I have to wait for a train every now and again.

I explicitly said I didn't hate the tourists, so you can't have them. They're a net benefit, but that doesn't mean there's no cost. They dump money into the city and give us a reason to have so many museums, restaurants, and shows. But they also get in your way. It's not their fault, and I signed up for the deal when I moved here, but that doesn't make it fun to experience.

I should mention that this week has been particularly bad with the tourists because the Boy Scouts are in town, and as you know, they move in troops. So you can be standing there in a normal crowd and then all of a sudden, there's 50 or 60 people pushing onto the platform or into the museum or booking all the restaurant tables. Or worse- trying to navigate Metro. They stare at the ticket machines like they're robots from the future and they look at the map like it's a plate of spaghetti.

This morning, I couldn't get to the only working ticket machine because one such troop was there. I'm not kidding when I say there were 50 people in line.

 

[Villa]

I say this as a long-time DC resident.

Are you an intern?

Because this type of arrogance and "the rules don't apply to me because I'm awesome" is very common among petulant young men and women who assume that because they have worked in some Big Government Office in Charge of Something Big for a whole two months, they can do anything they want.

Exactly my thought. You just beat me too it.

 

[Cheshire Human]

True enough. I've been riding the DC metro for 12 years, and tourists are the bane of every commuter's existence. ... And if you're going to come, stand on the right, at least.

Exhibit A for why I drive to work.

Ever try driving through Georgetown in DC during rush hour? :smack: I don't live there, but my brother does, and I went to visit him once, and had to do that. Exhibit A for why someone who lives there might want to take the Metro to work. DC is the WORST damn city I've ever driven in rush hour traffic. (To be fair, I was only ever in Boston during off-peak hours, so you Mass-holes can save the "Boston's traffic-penis is bigger" )

 

[Snowboarder Bo]

At least I'm on the top, looking down.

Yeah? How's that feel, being so far above everyone that you had to take a bunch of shit from a fucking Metro employee? And yeah, you had to take it, because you knew you had fucked up, had breached the rules because you found it inconvenient to follow them. You knew enough to keep your fucking mouth shut when he was talking, didn't you, because you knew that this was gonna be way better than getting a cop or another Metro employee involved. Thieving asshole.

 

[MeanOldLady]

This one time an ATM ate my debit card, so there were those few days I when I had to rely on cash while waiting on my card. In order to get cash, though, I had to go into a branch, so I was all, "Fuck this. I don't want to wait in line with those fucking chumps." I just walked into stores and demanded they gave me stuff. "Cut out the lip, toots," I would say, "I need things now, and I'm not about to wait in any lines or give you a card with any money on it like some two-bit chump." Bitch shut up and just gave me what I asked for, due to my massive she-penis.

 

[MeanOldLady]

Almost exactly. It's more like a soda than a Big Mac and "when it's convenient" is when there's a free cashier.

The next cashier was that line you were too precious to wait in.

I get being busy, I get being annoyed, I get hating tourists and douchebags on power trips. What I don't get is how Power Trip Jamal was wrong. He said what you did was called "fare evasion" and told you what you should have done instead. He didn't get all Transit Cop Badass on you, he didn't report you, he didn't even seem to make a fuss. It seems like he understood your situation and motives, but pointed out what the correct course of action would have been. It seems that you did not understand his position and motives because you're too busy sneering at the Metro Employees who are beneath you.

 

[DCnDC]

Off peak hours don't start until 10 am.

Nitpick, but 9 am.

930A.

 

[Cheshire Human]

....Bitch shut up and just gave me what I asked for, due to my massive she-penis.

Does your she-penis produce glorious woman sperm or is it mostly for show?

It produces millions of eggs, which impregnate the males. They get the equivalent of an ectopic pregnancy in their vas deferens.

 

[Cheshire Human]

:dubious:Hmm. I've been taking the Metro for years and years and on the occasional instances where I've had a problem, have always, always found Metro employees to be exceptionally friendly and helpful, particularly in the train stations.

You must be another one of them, the darkies, you know, the 99% who work for the system.... :dubious:

[note, I'm making fun of the OP, here, and referencing a previous post.... :dubious:]

Makes me wonder how the actual conversation the OP summarizes went. I'll wager a few quatloos that a bit of "I'm superior to you, asshole" attitude was being expressed by the OP, which Jamal was reacting to (and rejecting? protip for the OP).

 

[PlainJain]

I insert my paper ticket and it says I don't have enough money left. Just $1.10 instead of the minimum $1.20 or whatever.

It's more like if you eat at McDonald's and try to pay with your credit card but the machine's broken. So you tell the guy "Oh, I don't have any cash. Let me run across the street to the bank and I'll be right back" and then this 16 yr old kid starts lecturing you and condescending you about how you should always carry cash and how you're wrong for coming in to McD's without the proper currency.

It sounds more like if you go to McDonald's and try to pay for a $6.00 meal with your debit card, but there's only $4.00 in your account, so the card doesn't work because there's not enough money on it, not because the machine is broken. But you're so big and important and in such a hurry that you figure it's OK to just grab the food and run out the door, because it's clearly McDonald's fault that you didn't know how much you had on the card, so surely they'll be fine with you getting your lunch now but maybe coming back and paying them later, and if the cashier should dare tell you that you shouldn't steal food, he can just go fuck himself because you take better care of yourself than he does. And he's probably racist.

For the win.

 

[Jolly Roger]

:dubious:Hmm. I've been taking the Metro for years and years and on the occasional instances where I've had a problem, have always, always found Metro employees to be exceptionally friendly and helpful, particularly in the train stations.

Yeah, but the OP is an asshole apparently and I'm sure his arrogant "I'm the shit" attitude rubbed the guy the wrong way. Hellm it rubbed me the wrong way and I obviously wasn't there.