I am your better. Do as I say.

[MeanOldLady]

Chessic Dense, if your rant were about how much DC Metro transit sucks for making 40 people share one machine while the rest were broken, everything would have been kosher crab cakes. It might have even been kosher if you mentioned some a-hole on a power trip making things worse if there were actually an a-hole on a power trip making things worse, so long as that person was someone other than you.

 

[Chessic Sense]

Metro employees have always treated me with respect and been very helpful. I have in fact walked through turnstiles in the past and done exactly the same thing as you a dozen times and never gotten the lecture you got. Are you sure you didn't act all huffy or anything like that?

Positive. I even called him "sir", like I always do. I'm glad to see at least one other SDMB DCer will cop to having done the same thing.

Why do you think Jamal is beneath you? Because you make more money? Because the Metro employees hold GEDs? Because you're not a ''hood rat''?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

You know how upthread people were trying to anger me by saying that my boss needs press releases? Or that I should be doing some menial task instead of posting on here? Why do you think that type of comment would be insulting? Because it's implying that I'm of a lower status in life than I actually am.

Everyone knows class exists. You just don't talk about it out loud unless you're trying to insult someone. That's why when I was getting lectured, I said to myself "Save it for the message board". I didn't say it out loud.

 

[Ravenman]

MeanOldLady: you raise good points... although it takes someone with the short-sighted planning skills of an intern not to put a buck or two in a useless Metro card while on their way OUT of a station (as in the previous night, coming home from ten cent wing night at the Cap Lounge) in order to avoid any lines while going to work the next morning.

 

[Captain Amazing]

Again, I didn't fare jump. My method of paying for it was just...backward. Had I fare-jumped, I wouldn't have had the conversation in the first place.

You did fare-jump. You went through the metro turnstile without putting your card in. That's fare jumping. The fact that you tried to rectify it afterward isn't relevant, especially because the guy in the booth at your destination station really can't rectify it. He can't accept money himself, and he can't add and take money off your card.

 

[Chessic Sense]

I can't believe you didn't know this would go badly.

I was pissed off this morning, but I wasn't going to get into it with the prick Power Trip Jamal. So I drew my internet sword and prepared to do battle with SDMB Proxies in the Pit.

What makes you think I thought this would go well? So far, I think I'm winning.

My wife and I plan on making a trip there soon. I've never been there, so I may not be real familiar with how your public transportation works. I may even take a couple of minutes to read the instructions. If this means that you're two minutes late to your important job, tough shit.

Cool. Fine. Glad to have ya. Hey, do you think you can stand on the right when you ride the escalators? Thanks. And you can take two minutes to read the instructions. That's fine. You can even ask me for help. But don't expect me to actually enjoy your presence. That's asking too much.

Again, I didn't fare jump. My method of paying for it was just...backward. Had I fare-jumped, I wouldn't have had the conversation in the first place.

You did fare-jump. You went through the metro turnstile without putting your card in. That's fare jumping. The fact that you tried to rectify it afterward isn't relevant, especially because the guy in the booth at your destination station really can't rectify it. He can't accept money himself, and he can't add and take money off your card.

Not true. He can let me out, then I'll run my card through that turnstile and exit again. Paid for. Same price. I'm at work on time, the system gets its money, no one has to freak out. Everyone wins.

Oh yeah, but I'm supposed to feel all guilty and "I'm so ashamed!" over it? Bullshit. Just let me out so I can work around your broken shit, OK?

 

[Chessic Sense]

Every day, I take the DC metro train to and from work. For those outsiders, the Metro system isn't known for its, let's say, "competence". There are two ways to pay for the trip- either a paper fare card that you insert into the gate or a RFID card that connects to an online account. Most people use the latter SmarTrip card for various reasons. Well, mine quit working. It wouldn't read at any of the gates.

So I had to mail it in for a replacement. It's supposed to take 3-5 business days to get a new one. It's been 7 so far. So I'm still using paper cards.

I go to get on the train today and find that it'll arrive in 2 minutes. The next one isn't even on the board yet, so it'll be at least 15. I insert my paper ticket and it says I don't have enough money left. Just $1.10 instead of the minimum $1.20 or whatever.

I run back to the ticket machines. First one- doesn't accept bills. Second one- fare card slot isn't working. Third one- says "out of service" which ironically makes it the best working one there. Fourth machine, the greatest malady of all- a flock of tourists. We're talking 30 or 40 people all trying to use the same machine.

Train pulls into the station, so I say "screw it" and tailgate someone through the entry gate. I run to the escalators but, of course, there are tourists standing on the wrong side, blocking the walkers. I curtly say "excuse me", surprised that I could curtail my rage enough to still use polite words, and barely hop on the train, whose doors still manage to smash me as I enter as if to say "fuck you again."

Now so far it's been machines and clueless people that have pissed me off. But then I encounter Power Trip Jamal, Metro Employee Extraordinaire (PTJMEE). I approach him.

Me - "Excuse me, sir (yes I did say that), the entry gates didn't take my ticket."
PTJMEE - "Didn't take it? You came in with a bad card." ::snatches my card::
Me - "No, no, it just doesn't have enough money on it."
PTJMEE - "Ah ha! How you get on the train then, hmm?!"
Me - "The machines weren't working in [starting station]."
PTJMEE - "Ain't none of the machines broken [there]. I've had people come through all day from there and non'a them be saying the machine's broken."
Me - There are a million explanations for that, dolt.
Me - "Yu huh, one's not taking bills, one's out of ser-"
PTJMEE - "What you did is called 'fare evasion'."
Me - No shit. That's why I'm here now.
Me - "I just need to put more money on the card(, so let me through the gate)."
PTJMEE - "You needed to see the station manager at [start], not do this here. Go put your money in and come back."

So I do that, enter the gate, exit the gate, and leave. But PTJMEE, fuck you and your lecture. Do I have a fanny pack and a bottle of water? No. Do I have a suitcase and a map, standing around looking lost? No. Am I wearing slacks and a tie? Yes. I'M NOT A FUCKING TOURIST. Yes, I evaded the fare...because your fucking machines don't work, as usual. And don't call me a liar when I tell you so because you know fucking well that those things are pieces of shit. You know your system thinks it does a good job when it goes a week without killing somebody. Here I am, trying to correct the situation and you're reading me the riot act from your pedestal of moral superiority.

Listen carefully. I'm smarter than you, better at my job, and take care of myself better than you do. In other words, I am superior to you. So next time when I tell you I need to put money on the card, you say "OK" and let me do my thing. I don't need to get in a pissing contest over $1.85 with you. I'm not some hood rat that's trying to get out of paying for my ride. I'm just a guy on his way to work, trying to work with your fucked up system.

So again, fuck you, your machines, Metro, and all your racist, nose picking, sleeping-on-duty, GED-sporting, power-tripping coworkers.

Next week, I'm taking the helicopter.

 

[Chefguy]

I can see being somewhat annoyed and frustrated, but that's some serious arrogance in that last bit.

 

[Death of Rats]

Why do you think Jamal is beneath you? Because you make more money? Because the Metro employees hold GEDs? Because you're not a ''hood rat''?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

You know how upthread people were trying to anger me by saying that my boss needs press releases? Or that I should be doing some menial task instead of posting on here? Why do you think that type of comment would be insulting? Because it's implying that I'm of a lower status in life than I actually am.

No, they were calling you a liar. Anyone who has to tell you how important they are is much less important then they think.

 

[MsWhatsit]

If you're so smart, maybe you could figure out a system where a line of tourists waiting to use the fare card machine doesn't make you late for work.

 

[Ravenman]

If anyone wants some more stories of how the Metro has nearly fucked up the OP's day, luckily there's a website dedicated to just this purpose.

The Government Literally Lost Money Keeping OP from Work.

Another Episode of Fail in Swiping SmarTrip.

In Which Others Try to Make OP Late.

Regarding a Helpful Suggestion to Segregate Worth Metro Customers from the Riff-raff.

Chalk those up as four more "wins" for our fearless intern's effort to bend the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority to his whim.

 

[beowulff]

“Yes, officer, I only broke the law because it was convenient for me.”
What an douche.

 

[kayaker]

Quick, call James Randi. I'm psychic and want my million dollar prize. I predict this thread will not go well.

 

[Freudian Slit]

Everyone knows class exists. You just don't talk about it out loud unless you're trying to insult someone. That's why when I was getting lectured, I said to myself "Save it for the message board". I didn't say it out loud.

Class exists, but it sure can't be bought with money.

 

[Really Not All That Bright]

Sure, he can let you out. The movie theater ticket taker can also buy your story that your girlfriend has your ticket and has already gone in, but you paid for it, you totally swear.

 

[Fionn]

Everyone knows class exists. You just don't talk about it out loud unless you're trying to insult someone. That's why when I was getting lectured, I said to myself "Save it for the message board". I didn't say it out loud.

Did "Save it for the message board" honestly run through your mind as this event was unfolding?

 

[Chessic Sense]

If you're so smart, maybe you could figure out a system where a line of tourists waiting to use the fare card machine doesn't make you late for work.

That would be SmarTrip. One-time $5 fee, no more waiting in line. When it works, it's great. When it breaks, you end up dealing with the frightened-puppy tourists. I don't usually mind. They're a nuisance, sure, like a plague of locusts. But it's not their fault anymore than it's a baby's fault that it cries. They just don't know any better.

Metro employees, on the other hand, know better. Someone gave them a 3'x20' little fiefdom and they'll be DAMNED if someone's going to fuck with them on their turf! At least the metro cops have badges and guns. The station workers just have neon vests and brooms. They're like those 40-year old employees at McDonald's- resentful, degraded, and looking for any opportunity to assert themselves just because they can, just to justify not having put a bullet in their skull the night before.

 

[Villa]

Not true. He can let me out, then I'll run my card through that turnstile and exit again. Paid for. Same price. I'm at work on time, the system gets its money, no one has to freak out. Everyone wins.

Then you don't know how the Metro works. Unless your card shows where you got on, there is no way of it knowing the fare to charge you. Sure you got on in a place it is the minimum fare, but, just think, if you had got on in Shady Grove, or Vienna, or Franconia-Springfield, and then tried to pay at the end, don't you think you would have said you got on much closer?

The system needs a start point and finish point. By turnstile jumping at your origin, you denied it the start point, and so made it impossible for the system to determine what you owed. You instead assume that Metro should rely on your honesty, which they can be forgiven for doubting seeing as you broke the rules by turnstile jumping in the first place.

 

[Freudian Slit]

villa, does the DC system charge you by how far you go so that you pay after you exit? Just curious--I'm in New York so it's the same fare no matter where you go. In that case it seems like the OP really did scam the system.

 

[Villa]

Why do you think Jamal is beneath you? Because you make more money? Because the Metro employees hold GEDs? Because you're not a ''hood rat''?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

You know how upthread people were trying to anger me by saying that my boss needs press releases? Or that I should be doing some menial task instead of posting on here? Why do you think that type of comment would be insulting? Because it's implying that I'm of a lower status in life than I actually am.

Everyone knows class exists. You just don't talk about it out loud unless you're trying to insult someone. That's why when I was getting lectured, I said to myself "Save it for the message board". I didn't say it out loud.

No, you dense little fellow you. The reason people are mocking you about it isn't that we care about class and recognize the truth of what you say, but because you so clearly care about it.

Call me an intern in DC, and it doesn't bother me. You are so hung up on your alleged superiority, whether gained from your race or your important position, that it is fun to tease you about it. I highly doubt that you are, as you claim to be, "at the top" in DC.

That you feel a need to brag about your alleged status paints a big fat target on your back as far as I am concerned. I see wankers like you way too often in bars in Clarendon or on U Street, which is why I don't go there anymore. By the way - that MidWestern intern you've been buying drinks for all night hoping she'll give you a hand job later? Just keep on telling everyone in the bar how important you are and I am sure you'll get lucky with one of the semi-conscious skanks you've been buying drinks for all night.

 

[Really Not All That Bright]

Give it time. Rand Rover will show up eventually. He'll understand why I'm better than Metro employees.

Nope. You are a rule-breaking douche. You broke the rules just to save yourself a few minutes, and you could have easily avoided the whole situation (by loading up your card on your way to or from work on a previous day). So, you get no sympathy or support from me.

We always knew you had it in you.