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I am struggling with a sex addiction and I need advice?
- Thread starter C B
- Start date
I don't need smart answers or a$$hole remarks. This is something that I have been battling with and has led to serious depression in my life. I was diagnosed back in 2003 as a sex addict. I had no idea such a thing existed until then but I knew I always had severe problems with commitment and being consumed by men. If anyone knows about sex addiction there are two types of sex addicts, the ones who need to watch porn, masturbate, and achieve orgasms any way possible, but mines is the other type which is I don't seek men for the sex but the sexual attention and their attraction for me. It's like I get a "hit" off the guy's lust for me as weird as it sounds. When I do have sex with these guys it's not the orgasm I'm after but the attention and feeling of being the center of their world. After it's over I go home and hit a depression and then I go back out to find another guy to give me a high so to speak so I won't be depressed. It's literally like the men are drugs, not human beings in my head.
In the past when I got into relationships and either problems came up in the relationship or I had that commitment phobia again, my first thing to do was to go manhunting. It was a sick cycle but I felt like I couldn't stop. I was either going manhunting or sticking to unhealthy, abusive relationships because I was addicted to the sexual part of the relationship.
Eventually I decided to take a break from relationships and get into therapy and do what I can to fix this problem. I was gaining insight into my issues and yes the need for men became less and less over time. So three years ago I met and finally fell in love with my fiancee. He is the first guy I ever been faithful to. Although I am in love and he is great, I'm secretly depressed because I haven't told him my past. I have been so honest with him about everything but not this because of the shame and guilt of it all. I feel even more guilty because he hasn't had many partners in his past. I also feel guilty because when we do fight or I am feeling phobic about him abandoning me I get thoughts of being with other guys but this time I refuse to act on it.
I just want the thoughts to go away because I love him to death and I also don't know if I should tell him about my past or let it go. I still get therapy but he doesn't know what for except I tell him I have anxiety issues so he doesn't know anything else. What do you guys think? Should I set it to him straight or am I better off continuing treatment and letting it go? I feel so terribly guilty.
In the past when I got into relationships and either problems came up in the relationship or I had that commitment phobia again, my first thing to do was to go manhunting. It was a sick cycle but I felt like I couldn't stop. I was either going manhunting or sticking to unhealthy, abusive relationships because I was addicted to the sexual part of the relationship.
Eventually I decided to take a break from relationships and get into therapy and do what I can to fix this problem. I was gaining insight into my issues and yes the need for men became less and less over time. So three years ago I met and finally fell in love with my fiancee. He is the first guy I ever been faithful to. Although I am in love and he is great, I'm secretly depressed because I haven't told him my past. I have been so honest with him about everything but not this because of the shame and guilt of it all. I feel even more guilty because he hasn't had many partners in his past. I also feel guilty because when we do fight or I am feeling phobic about him abandoning me I get thoughts of being with other guys but this time I refuse to act on it.
I just want the thoughts to go away because I love him to death and I also don't know if I should tell him about my past or let it go. I still get therapy but he doesn't know what for except I tell him I have anxiety issues so he doesn't know anything else. What do you guys think? Should I set it to him straight or am I better off continuing treatment and letting it go? I feel so terribly guilty.
yoga603end732
New member
this is to long. you should try thearapy and watch dr. drew's sex rehab on sunday night's
My answer is going to be simple and to the point.
NO relationship is easy and half (or more,) fail for whatever reason. If a relationship isn't based on honesty and trust to begin with, it is doomed from the start in my opinion.
If this has been a part of your past and you are still in therapy, (this is part of WHO you are,) your partner should know. He will either accept it and the two of you will deal with the issue together, or he won't. If he won't, this isn't the right person for you.
NO relationship is easy and half (or more,) fail for whatever reason. If a relationship isn't based on honesty and trust to begin with, it is doomed from the start in my opinion.
If this has been a part of your past and you are still in therapy, (this is part of WHO you are,) your partner should know. He will either accept it and the two of you will deal with the issue together, or he won't. If he won't, this isn't the right person for you.
I
imported_yoga603end732
Guest
this is to long. you should try thearapy and watch dr. drew's sex rehab on sunday night's
yoga603end732
New member
this is to long. you should try thearapy and watch dr. drew's sex rehab on sunday night's