I Am Despairing

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pinkymachiney

New member
Something has been disturbing me for such a long time,and will continue influence me for hunting a job after my this-year graduation from my university!!
Two years ago, on my face grew some keloidlike scar caused by whelk or acne,which really made me very self-inferior, confidence-lost, and afraid to appear in the crowd. Whenever my parents ask or my friends invite me to social events or gathering, I would surely find excuses to refuse, because I hate that lots of people behind me are pointing to,staring at and whispering anything about me,which is really awful and do make me upset!!! I tried to see a doctor, but the doctor told me that he couldn't assure me for the complete curability and the operation would need tens of thousands of Chinese dollars at least which is completely unbearable to my family. Actually, i know the incurability is sure to be because in China we haven't the advanced medical technolog for the surgery. What i need is a cosmetic surgery which is not available in China and not affordable in my family. I firmly believe that American can surely do that， but I, as an english major student and a peasant's son, really can't afford to do that.
I Need Help!! Who can help me?? Maybe you don't know how bad things are!!
Please give me a hand!!!! I Need An Angel!!!!
 
while you want help, I want to share with you something:

There are people born with birth defects on the face -- called port-wine stain.

There are people severly burned

There are people who were born with face defects (clef pallet), etc.

Its how you convey yourself that is the difference between you and them not the way you look. I was not pretty -- well I was pretty ugly -- but that's not the point.
I weighed a whopping 88 lbs at 28 years of age and ate like a tornado! -- and
I had no chest -- in fact I heard that I was a lumberjack's dream, a straight board.

I was call thermometer and told not to drink tomato juice. I was told to carry bowling balls when it was windy in case I got blown away. I had the worse shaped teeth in the world and no money or caring parents who did anything about it. Buck teeth was the kindest thing called to me. Plus I wore glasses (4 eyes, etc) can it get any worse????

You will encounter stupid people who will ask stupid things. You either answer honestly or ignore the comments. But you must have the inner-core of confidence. Stangers don't know you yet and friends and family already do so why worry about being seen?

I would not recommend having any surgery -- there aren't always a truthful doctor but my daughter was born with poor skin -- she scars easily and everyday wakes up with new stretch marks that looks like she was clawed by a cat. She wanted to have it taken care of. A very kind doctor told her that even laser surgery wouldn't cure stretch marks and would most likely create more problems with scars. Stretch marks gets lighter over time but scars don't always.

Why take a chance it could turn out worse.

Love yourself because your higher being (God, or whatever you believe in) didn't make junk when he made you. Please love yourself as others do already and stop thinking everyone is looking at you. If they are, so what?
Dress nice, be clean, and most of all, carry yourself with pride.

Take Care
 
Thank you for your suggestion which do help me and shed light on my bleak life and future! I was depressed at times just because of my disfigurement and as I said, afraid to show up before people, even before my former classmates or some of my friends. You are right it is how we convey ourselves that is the difference between we and others not the way we are looked. There are many people whose troubles maybe are bigger than mine, and they are more misfortuned than me!!! I shouldn't hide myself! Now I know to be a "hermit" is wrong. What I should do, if I want to live a meaningful and happy life, is just to face up kinds of difficulties, to talk, communicate and meet with others, and to be myself!!! Those who ask stupid questions are stupid and yes, I look not very nice, not very handsome even a little bit ugly, but so what? I can think, I can speak and more importantly, I can be successful in my own life and future with this horrible face.I will love myself, and carry myself with pride!!! thank you, very much!!!!
 
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