I wrote a book on this and divorce related matters. If two people are willing, anything can be worked out as long as there is no drug addiction, alcoholism, physical abuse. ANYTHING can be healed expect chemical addictions and violence.
That being said, children should not be in a household where they learn to tolerate poor and abusive behavior, because that is what they will think is the norm.
They do far better in separate households all the time. However, if the split happens when the kids are in early teens, it is hardest ON them and they need massive therapy.
My eldest was that age when my ex divorced me after 19 years of marriage bnecuase of her delusional thinking. My oldest daughternow 32 today, as a matter of fact, and her brain works poorly, because of all the lies my ex told her about me and about life. She has nothing to do with me.
My youngest, now 29 has a working relationship with me.
It is important not to just throw awaw a marriage, but to work like crazy to save it, both people must work on it daily....emotional abuse must be stopped in therapy.