I am afraid people will judge me for not having a kid with my husband!!?

A

Ashley

New member
So we found out that my husband has a blockage. We are going to the doctors to see if it can be fixed so I can get pregnant with him! I have been talking to my cousin about this, and my options IN CASE the doctors cant to anything with the blockage and the sperm still isn't good. I want to go through the experience of being pregnant!!!

Me and my husband have been talking about it, but not too much until we get a definite yes or no for him. I told him about me wanting to go through the pregnancy experience. I don't see a problem with it. You don't know who the donor would be, except the background of them. But my cousin told me it's like I would be cheating on him. I don't care what people think, but this is bugging me!!
I am all for the adoption, but I want to at least have one!
I am not totally sure how he feels about the donor thing. Like I said we haven't really gotten into that conversation yet until we go to all the doctors for him!
Thats the thing. A blockage could be different things. Which is why we are going to the doc. It could be a Medical problem(like a tumor) or something blocking it. There is a possibility that he could have good sperm and if they can remove the blockage we have have a child natural, or that he could have good sperm and they have to remove the sperm and put them in me. OR it could just be a blockage and he's just not producing sperm..
I am just thinking about all my options, and I was talking to my cousin, because I like talking to her. We are able to talk to each other about our problems, I just don't want my own family to think I would be cheating on my husband because thats not it at all!!!!!
Me and my husband had only talked about the subject for like 10 min. And that was on the day we found out his first test (to see if he had sperm) and it came back that the test didn't show even 1 sperm. So they said me "MIGHT" have a blockage!
 
It's fine to use a donor as long as your husband is okay with it too since he will be raising the child also. If the idea bothers HIM then you should not put your own desire to birth a child above your commitment to him and his wishes. Adoption is a great option too - I myself am adopted and my parents brought me up great and later were able to conceive a child of their own.

However, if you both agree to use a sperm donor then it is nobody's business but your own. You wouldn't even need to tell people! And if they are critical you should tell them to mind their own business.
 
Wait and see what the Doctor says then go from there it may not be as bad as it seems. Then sit down with your doctor and discuss your options with a medical person there you and your husband can make the right decision for the both of you.
 
no I dont consider that cheating at all! it is all consentual and medically done. GL with everything and I hope things work out =)
 
Even if your husband has a blockage, his testes should still be creating sperm
In vitro fertilization would probably be your best option


But if you really want to ge ta sperm donor, your husband HAS to be okay with it. So what it does it matter what your cousin thinks? If your husband is okay with it, then fine. If not, your options might be either to divorce him or not do it. I personally would never put my husband through that if he was not okay with it. How personally upsetting would it be that the love of your life is having someone else's baby and you didn't approve?

Add: If he 'might' have a blockage, and you talked about it for 10 minutes, and you havent even had a follow up appointment, then what the hell are you doing on Yahoo freaking out, talking to your cousin, about something that isnt even an issue yet!
 
I wouldn't care what any-one else thinks,

Are they in the same position as you?
Do they have to life their life without a child they really want?

I'm sure the answer is no.

People are always great at thinking their opinion goes and it should be taken as gospel.

Why should you adopt when you don't need to,

I'm also wondering can they not remove sperm the same way they remove eggs, as if it is a blockage it means he is still producing sperm?
 
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