Please don't give me immature comments or smart remarks, because this is a battle I have been struggling with and it is serious to me. Back in 2003 I was diagnosed as a sex addict. If anyone knows about sex addiction there are two types. There's the addicts who need porn, masturbation, and strive to achieve an orgasm. But then there's addicts like me who go manhunting and constantly seek sexual attention. It's like I get a "hit" off the guy. If I do have sex I don't get a high off of climaxing but I get a high off of being the center of the guy's world for that moment.
The addiction has been so consuming and taken over my life and lead me into serious depression. I felt like I had a secret life. Nobody knew this part of me. I also felt like it hurt my spirituality because I was too ashamed to even pray about it. So I got into therapy and over time I got the addiction under control.
But now I have fallen in love and been with my fiancee for 3 years. I have not cheated on him as I have done with other relationships in the past because of the addiction. I still go to therapy to stay on top of it. But I feel so guilty because my fiancee has no idea about my past. He knows everything about me but that. It is the only thing and a big thing he doesn't know about me. It's killing me that he doesn't know because I want to be an open book. He is aware that I have been with a lot of men but when I tried to get into why, he just didn't get past the fact that I had so many men in my past so he will never let me bring it up to explain myself. He shut the issue too quick and that was it. Ever since then I don't bring it up.
So I don't know if I should just bury the old me and enjoy my new life addiction-free with him, or should I really keep pushing to be honest? I really don't want him not to trust me. I hate keeping anything from him. What do you guys think? Again, I want sincere and mature answers. Thanks.
The addiction has been so consuming and taken over my life and lead me into serious depression. I felt like I had a secret life. Nobody knew this part of me. I also felt like it hurt my spirituality because I was too ashamed to even pray about it. So I got into therapy and over time I got the addiction under control.
But now I have fallen in love and been with my fiancee for 3 years. I have not cheated on him as I have done with other relationships in the past because of the addiction. I still go to therapy to stay on top of it. But I feel so guilty because my fiancee has no idea about my past. He knows everything about me but that. It is the only thing and a big thing he doesn't know about me. It's killing me that he doesn't know because I want to be an open book. He is aware that I have been with a lot of men but when I tried to get into why, he just didn't get past the fact that I had so many men in my past so he will never let me bring it up to explain myself. He shut the issue too quick and that was it. Ever since then I don't bring it up.
So I don't know if I should just bury the old me and enjoy my new life addiction-free with him, or should I really keep pushing to be honest? I really don't want him not to trust me. I hate keeping anything from him. What do you guys think? Again, I want sincere and mature answers. Thanks.