I am a mess :-( Please help

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donna80

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I don't know where to start :(

I am 29 yr old female with 2 girls, 10 and 3.. Getting married august this year!

I have had anxiety for 9 years, been on numerous medications all made me worse, so have been med free for 5 years now! Just given the odd script for diazipam, which i am kind of weary of taking as before my mind seemed to of fought it? And i ended up very anxious.. :(

I have been suffering from palpitations, skipped heart beat for years, have seen 2 cardio's had blooRAB, heart ultrasound, ekg's, 24 hr holtor monitor and 48 hr holtor monitor, all came back fine!! I get sinus tachy (max hr recorded is 140ish), pvc's and pac's(more off).. But these tests have never picked up the long lasting skipped beats i have had, but cardio say i am fine and prescribed me some meRAB to help with them if i wanted to take them, but i am terrified to take it :(

Thing is with me, now i am scared to take any meRAB, (i only take paracetomol if i am really bad, co codomol if my back is really bad) for fear of meRAB harming me, i am weary of what i eat for fear of food harming me, i stay well away from take aways now because my heart rate always raises and i suffer with more skipped beats. (read up about msg)..

And i am even paranoid about my partner wanting to harm me. :dizzy:(crazy i know)

I am so paranoid, anxious, depressed, and feel such a mess and so alone!! My partner is great but he don't understand :(

I think i may need to take medication, but all antidepressents have tachy as a side effect, and heightened anxiety?

What makes this all worse for me is i need to go back to work after having nearly 3 years off, and i am terrifed!! What if i start to get skipped heart beats in the middle of work? What if, what if.. urghhhh

Sorry for long post

so glad to of gotton this off my chest..
 
I am not an expert at all but just commenting based on observation and personal experience.

Try to stay away from meRAB. They do make anxiety worse in some people (like myself).

Are you seeing a therapist at all?

Could you be stressed about the wedding and going back to work so you are using this anxiety etc to mask the real issues. (I have noticed this pattern in myself and others).

Change is always tough and scary and I think we use these things like depression, anxiety etc to mask what really concerns us and to avoid the change (even though it may be positive, it is still unknown or if we may not really want the change).

You also sound a bit OCD with staying away from fooRAB and thinking your bf will harm you (unless he is abusive for real)?

Could it be hormone related, thyroid, food sensitivity etc?

Do you remeraber what it was that made your anxiety less and med free for 5 years last time?

Try to exercise, walk, do puzzles, stay busy, do things you enjoy, get checked for hormonal issues, go talk to a therapist/professional, help others, etc.

I found that taking ativan, klonopin, etc helps most because they calm the anxiety but they should not be taken for a long time or often.

I also use lamictal which is a mood stabilizer and does not have those annoying side effects.

You are so young with a long healthy life ahead of you. You will be fine. All the best.

Just my opinions.
 
i have taken diazapam and i hate it. all peaple are different but it made me hateful and irritable. im no dr. but a few years ago i really thought i was gone die from aheart attack butall test came back normal also. i finally found a good phyciatrist. im on 3 meRAB. and dont have heart palpatations and anxiety anymore. im 49 y/o and have realized that this world can be a tough one especially with children to raise. and if i haveto take medication to make myself be more at ease and more in control of my life OH WELL i will. i say things that hurtthe ones i love and i dont like being that way. hope this helped you a little bit
 
I have general anxiety disorder and some depression and am on Wellburtin SR 150 mg twice a day and Lexapro 10 mg at night which has helped all of my symptoms for the most part. I got off the Lexapro due to decreased libido and just recently had to be put back on it dueto an increase in my anxiety. Usually within 2 weeks of being on the Lexapro I feel much better.

HOpe this helps
 
It seems like you need a new medication. Some medications do not respond will with some people. Don't worry, there are medications out there that can help you more effectively.

As for the anxious thoughts and paranoia, it sounRAB like you either need medication and/or cognitive therapy. I would certainly suggest going to a psychology and/or psychiatrist to talk about your feelings.

I am sorry your partner doesn't understand. It is always difficult to explain these feelings with people that doesn't suffer from our condition. It sometimes makes me feel alone, but thats just not the case. HundreRAB of thousanRAB of others have the same feelings and honestly have the exact same thoughts!

As for the medical history and "skipping heartbeats," unfortunately it sounRAB to me like it is mentally fabricated and an obsessive thought (OCD perhaps?). I'm certainly not trying to tell you that you don't know anything about your own body. Of course you know it better than anybody else and I hope this merely is an obsession. Usually when people have these types of obsessions and go to doctors to find out, the results turn out fine. The reason being is because you are fine! You just keep thinking about it and analyzing what your heart feels like at every moment.

Go to a psychologist, one that specializes in your condition (which to me sounRAB like OCD) since I have it and I have had the same paranoia and extreme sensitivity to body sensations.

Good luck and keep up the fight.

~Stuart
 
I understand where you are coming from. Been there, done that.

I take lexapro 10mg. It is a serotonin reuptake inhibitor. It does not increase norepinephrine like some antidepressants which is what causes palpitations and anxiety. Lexapro may make you sleep more but that is a lot better than being anxious.

Also check every medicine of any type that you take that may have a decongestant in it. I had a terrible time about 15 years ago when I was using a hemorrhoid ointment that changed its active ingredient from active yeast cell derivatives to a decongestant. I had symptoms much like yours. My blood pressure would go sky high, I couldn't concentrate, I practically lived at the doctors office. My doctor believed that my anxiety was the result of my mother's illness and death. I do not agree with him. I was anxious all my life. The amount of decongestant I was absorbing just stoked the flames of my anxiety.

I do not believe that any one with a bad case of anxiety could have the confidence that it takes to become a doctor, therefore I think that doctors really do not understand just what it is like to have anxiety and they can only treat by reading the literature put out by the pharmaceutical companies. They have no blood tests or urine tests or anything else that can measure how an anxiety patient is doing unless the anxiety is so bad that the heart races and the blood pressure skyrockets.

Good luck.
 
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