Husband wants to argue?

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cricut2

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What does a woman do when her spouse wants to argue about everything. No matter what I say, he always wants to start and arguement or twists my words around and gets defensive. For example, today he informed me that he wanted to get some beef cows, but he would need help to take care of them. I said that getting the cows would be fine, but it will have to be his project. I have enough on my plate....work full time, do all the yard work and gardening, laundry, keep a clean house, cook, take care of three horses, do all the painting/staining inside and outside of house, shopping, etc. My husband works four 10 hour days and when he gets home, he eats, turns on the tv and then falls asleep in his chair. If he feels like doing something after work, he does, if not, well you know the answer to that. Back to the cows...after my comment, which was not accusatory or harsh, he said that I was telling him that he does nothing around here. I said nothing to remotely suggest that! I only let him know that I have enough to do and so much time to accomplish it. I am 56 and am getting tired! I cannot do all that I could 10-15 years ago. I asked him why he reacts this way...his response was then silence....watching tv. He has been this way for awhile now and I am sick of it. He says I do not talk to him much, which is true...only because he blows at everything I say. I will not argue with him ! I want peace. I hate it! I feel lately that I don't even want to be in the same room with him anymore...he is always in what I call a dark mood. Life is too short to go on this way. My years are numbered and I would like some happiness. Any suggestions?
 
when people get this way, and for no reason, there is typically something else that is bothering them that they are repressing. So, the man lashes out on you for no logical reason.

When he comes home, sit down next to him and be real realy chipper and sweet and all that. Give him a nice back rub, make some hot chocolate and sit down and just ask him how his day was. Ask him how he has been feeling lately. Tell him that you've seen a change in him and you want to know what's wrong. As his wife, you're in the ring with him, so be Paulie in whatever situation he is going through.

If there in fact is anything that is bothering him, tell him that you understand but to not take his frustrations out on you this way. His project for the cows could be a way for him to let off some steam. Encourage him and motivate him to start. You may be very busy in your daily life, but this is your love. If you want to reconcile whatever issues are between you, you must learn how to work in symbiance.

Ask him to help you out with some of your chores, and you'll in turn, help him with the cows.

During all of this, be very gentle. If he screams, do not lose your temper. This person is reacting to your every word, be sure you tread softly.
best of luck!
 
i would ignore him and just agree on what he says to keep the peace he will see in the long run that you were right all long.
 
that sounds just like me except im about 30 years younger, i not only go to work i clean the house make him and my lunches make dinner and if he needs help to pay the bills i do that go grocerie shopping.im starting to think men dont realize what women do,my guy works long hours but after work likes to rest,my guy is also stubborn too, he twist my words trys to do reverse phycology.......god i guess theres no end for it according to you.i just figure your guy is set in his ways like mine is and they either dont care or cant change.maybe our guys are related somehow, it is quit sad.i wish i knew the answer too bad we couldnt just switch for like a week them do what we do and maybe they'll understand better.other than that all i can suggest is stay strong.goodluck
 
it would seem to me that he is very angry about something. There is more at stake here then just cows. Without more information to go on, its really hard for me to give any helpful hints or ideas. You said this has been going on for a while now. Think about when this all started. Was there some sort of tragic or unpleasant that took place? Maybe something happened at his job that is causing him stress. Something had to have triggered this. My guess is that if you were to suggest marriage counseling, he would blow up and say everything is just fine.
 
How long have Y'all been Married. Just try and tell Him You think that He has been to hard on You. It may just take You standing up to Him to change things.
 
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