Humor me. The best joke or riddle wins 10 points.?

There was father and he had 3 daughters. The first daughter came and said "Daddy why did you name me Daisy?" The father replied "Because the day you were born when we came out of the hospital a daisy fell right on your forehead." She said "Ah thats sweet." She kissed him on the cheeck and left. The next daughter comes in and she was like "Daddy why did you name Rose?" The father replied "Because the day you were born we were walking out of the hospital and rose fell right on your forehead." She said "Ah thats sweet." Kissed him on the forehead and walked away. Then the third daughter comes in and she was like "DERREDUBUDUBJEHDK" and the father was like "SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!"
 
Q: What do you get when you cross a helicopter and elephant and an rhino?


A: Hell-ef-iknow
 
There's 3 guys.
One of them's a smoker, he dies and goes to heaven.
Another is a drinker, he dies and also goes to heaven.
Then the last is a gay man, and obviously he dies, and goes to heaven...
When they arrive at heavens doors, God says, Listen.
If you get drunk, you'll go straight to hell.
If you smoke, you're going straight to hell.
And if you do anything gay. You're going straight to hell.

So they all agree, and go on their way through the doors.

The next day, they're all walking along and the drinker sees a pub, he says, "Hey guys lets go get drunk!" Then the smoker says, "Dude if you get drunk you're gonna go to hell.." And the drinker says "Ahh the hell with It" and gets drunk, then gets sent straight to hell.
The smoker and the gay man continue on down the road, and the smoke notices that there's a cigarette in the crevice of the sidewalk and says.
"Ahh looky there, that sure does look good.."
Then the gay man says.
"Listen here, if you run over there, bend down and get that cigarette, we're both going to hell"
 
why did the little boy fall of the bike?
-because someone threw a fridge at him

what did snoop dawg say when houses fell on him during an earthquake?
-get off me homes

your head is so big you have your own atmosphere

your mama's so fat when she stepped on the scale it showed her phone number
 
why did the banana go to the doctor,becausit coldn't get peeled off proply hahaha,
which day of the week do fish hate answer is friday hahaha, well thats all i could think of
 
This one really made me laugh.

Vampire walks into a bar and asks, "May I please have a glass of vater (water)?" The barman is astonished and says, "I thought vampires only drink blood?" The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "Yes, I'm making tea."

HA
 
There is an french, a mexican, and a american on a plane. The plane is to heavy so they all throw something off.The french throws off crosonts. the mexican throws off tacos and the american throws off the mexican. hope this helps
 
This one really made me laugh.

Vampire walks into a bar and asks, "May I please have a glass of vater (water)?" The barman is astonished and says, "I thought vampires only drink blood?" The vampire pulls out a tampon and says, "Yes, I'm making tea."

HA
 
There was this old prospector that lived in the mountains and every couple of months, he would go to the town at the bottom of the mountain to gather supplies.
He went to get his supplies one day, he had a few dollars left, so he went to the bar. He said, "Bartender, give me a whiskey." So he did. He asked, "You don't have any women around here?" The bartender replied,"Nope, but we got Old Joe in the back." The prospector said, "Hell no, I don't play that s**t."
The next month, he came back to the town, went in the bar, got is whiskey, and asked the bartender, "You still don't have any women around here?" The bartender said, "Nope, but we still got Old Joe in the back." The prospector said, "Let me ask you a question... If I were to do it with Old Joe, who would have to know about it?" The bartender replied, "Well, I'd know, and you'd know, and of course, Old Joe would know, and you see those men over there playing cards?" "Yes," he replied. "Well," said the bartender, "They'd have to know to." The prospector asked, "Why would they have to know?" The bartender said, "Hell, they'd have to hold Old Joe. He don't play that s**t either!"
 
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