1) how would you punctuate this poem?:
The sun filters down through the leaves
Pools of light on hard earth under my feet
The light breeze on my bare arms
The intricate smell of the sea of wildflowers around me
The harmony of the birdsong
And my tyre swing, where I laugh.
The clouds over my head
Dull, gloomy and lifeless
The chill setting in
The oranges and reds exploding from mountains of dead leaves
As they rustle and crunch like gravel under my feet
And my tree, where I think.
The frost curling up the edges of leaves
The bare branches
Skeletons of trees reaching towards me
The mist forming in front of my face like a ghost
The cushion of silence around me
And my cubby hole, where I hide.
The warmth returning
In rays from the bright spring sun
The flowers dotted around like splashes of paint
The animals returned once again
The overgrown paths, greenery spilling into the track
And my place, which I love.
2) is the poem good?
3) if you want to, how could i improve this poem?
for question 1) you can just say something like a comma at the end of every line or its fine. doesnt have to be too detailed
thxxxDD
The sun filters down through the leaves
Pools of light on hard earth under my feet
The light breeze on my bare arms
The intricate smell of the sea of wildflowers around me
The harmony of the birdsong
And my tyre swing, where I laugh.
The clouds over my head
Dull, gloomy and lifeless
The chill setting in
The oranges and reds exploding from mountains of dead leaves
As they rustle and crunch like gravel under my feet
And my tree, where I think.
The frost curling up the edges of leaves
The bare branches
Skeletons of trees reaching towards me
The mist forming in front of my face like a ghost
The cushion of silence around me
And my cubby hole, where I hide.
The warmth returning
In rays from the bright spring sun
The flowers dotted around like splashes of paint
The animals returned once again
The overgrown paths, greenery spilling into the track
And my place, which I love.
2) is the poem good?
3) if you want to, how could i improve this poem?
for question 1) you can just say something like a comma at the end of every line or its fine. doesnt have to be too detailed
thxxx
DD