how would feel or what would you do?

  • Thread starter Thread starter !Catherineee.
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!Catherineee.

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Here is my life in a nutshell in the past ten years. before i meet my wife, i was basically a loser going nowhere, and did not care. i drank and did drugs. i always held a steady job and worked hard, and the only things that were more important was friends and family. but had no desire to excel in anything or start my own family. so six years ago i work with this beautiful girl, and i'll i want to do is get down her pants. i dreamnt about it for weeks. i finally ask her out, and finally i asked her out, she said yes and i was half way from goal. not that i had many at the time. she has a daughter, and it doesn't bother me. we date for two months, she gets pregnant. i move her and her daughter into an apartment with me, basically i cut ties with most of my old friends, quit drinking and doing drugs. she does work until two months before the birth of my son. after six months i take a transfer with the company i work for, for better pay but in not such a great place. we live there for a year, i buy us a house in a nice little town, and for the first two years at my job, she goes to college while i work and pay the bills. after she graduates, i propose and she accepts. we talk about moving to a bigger city before we get married so she can further her education. a year later we are married and have fallen deeply in love with this woman. me and the daughter have grown very close and our son is wonderful. i put in for another position in a bigger city for a lower position, for about the same pay. of course i put my house up for sale, by the worst agent in the world, and two weeks before the government announced the recesision, and the economy went into the crapper. each weekend i come home and watch the kids while she works two very long night shifts, and then has to recoup on monday, and is not very pleasant to be around. sometimes i go home one day through the week, depending on the weather. i do all the laundry, make sure the dishes are done before i leave for work, and cook. while i am at work, when i think about her, i always think of more things to make me a better husband, for her to want me. to want me as bad as i want her. i send her text every night telling her how much i miss her and how much i want her. she replies with me 2 or good nite. there are times when i feel like i inconvience her when i call to say good night. at times i just don't feel like anything i do for her is enough. she reminds me daily of any stupid mistake i have ever made. tonight was the kicker, as i was talking to her she told me about this going away party for a co-worker. she said it was monday and wasn't sure we could get a baby sitter. i asked her if she wanted me to ask someone i knew, who would do it. she then said she wasn't really sure they would have and didn't want to pay for a baby sitter and basically was beating around the bush that she didn't want me there. i understand she spends all week with the kids, and needs a break, but what bothered me was that she made me feel like she didn't want me to go. i want her to go out and have fun, but it would of been nice to feel like she would of wanted me to go so we could spend some time together. i know a lot of this probably doesn't make since and i know other people have it really hard right now, but how would you feel?
 
Well since your married to her you aren't being clingy. This sounds like something typical of an unmarried couple.Test her. Go out and buy her a dozen roses, and set up a whole romantic dinner with the kids gone. All of that stuff. Her reaction will tell you how she really feels.
 
It seems your wife wants a break for a night which is normal in any relationship married or not. Being together 24/7 gets to be boring after a while and couples need their own separate lives within the marriage to keep it fulfilling. Stop feeling insecure and making assumptions or that's going to eventually ruin your relationship. Good Luck!
 
Coming from a woman who has done the same stupid things. . .She doesn't know what she wants. Your story sounded a lot like mine and my hubbys' there for a minute, I actually had to stop, check your name, and read again to make sure it wasn't my hubby writing it. When I moved away from my family to be with my hubby and go to school in a bigger city, I withdrew from him also. I had a hard time making friends staying at home with my girls, and I didn't have anyone here. All I ever did when he got home was run away to shop or something by myself because I was upset with my situation. I had no one and the one person that was there I pushed away. She sounds like that, but then I take a step back and think, well why wouldn't she want you to go to the COMPANY (not shouting enunciating) with her. It sounds to me like she might be flirting with someone else. I'm not saying she's cheating, but she's definitely liking someone she's working with. I know I did the same thing. Sounds like you've hit the beginning of her wanting to run away from the life she's been handed. But don't get discouraged, Women change their minds like they change shoes, it's in our blood and maybe she takes your work for granite. I mean do you have a career and she's just got a job. Cause loving your job and her hating it could give her negative feelings towards you for working. I know my hubby loves his job, he works for his best friends, but it's still work and I have to remind myself that they aren't out being duded, they are working. Well, I hope I've given you a little something to work with. Good luck and don't give up hope, even when she's at her worst later on, she'll see when you show how understanding you are of her need for space that no one can fill her needs like you do.
 
So, you're away 5 days a week in another city while she stays home watching the kids, then when you come home for the weekends you help with the house while she works? Is this correct? Sweetie, you two aren't living the life of married folks and you've lost the intimacy that comes with being around one another all the time. You're barely two ships that pass in the night. Something has to change. Get back to work in the town you live in seems to me the thing to do. Be there physically, not just on the phone at night.If I've misread your post, I apologize, but she must be lonely during the week, and I understand you're feeling torn, too, so get together with her and decide how you're going to fix this. Good luck.
 
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