How To Remain A Vapid Shopaholic In Somber Times [The Rich]

[KiRby]

Oh, heavens: Barack Obama's been elected, the economy imploded and suddenly it' s no longer chic to be a superficial consumerist idiot! But how to cope if that's all you've ever known?? We were going on three decades of nearly uninterrupted insane boomtime for the rich, after all, and change is difficult. Fake it hard, advises the kept lady's favorite well-connected fashiongay, Barney's creative director Simon Doonan, in this morning's [I]Observer[/I]:

Stop braying on about your purchases as if you were doing something meaningful like removing brain tumors or solving the global economy. SHOP BUT DON’T TELL.
And stop allocating all your free time to shopping... you run the risk of being branded an idiot...
From now on, your shopping trips will be more like surgical strikes. Snag yourself a personal shopper who can streamline the process...
Deep is the new superficial!

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And it's so simple: You just need to throw together a soul, intelligence and basic human empathy. They can be tricky to find but are always on sale!

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