How to deal with pushy mother in-law?

[Mandy]

I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend's mother is becoming extremely controlling. I know she has the babies best interests at heart, but I'm becoming really frustrated. For example when we were discussing names, if we mentioned names she didn't like her response would be 'no, I'm not having a grandchild called that. no way'. And now she is convinced that we are living with them when the baby comes, she is talking about how she will decorate the spare room...and my boyfriend will not tell her that we don't plan on living with her. We have our names on the housing list. How do I get him to stand up to her? I don't feel that it is my place to say anything. I just couldn't bear to live with her, as she is controlling now and I worry that she would try and take over once the baby came. She seems to just disregard the wishes of myself or my family...any ideas on how to cope with this situation? Thanks very much,
By the way we are engaged to be married, so she will soon be my mother in law. There will be no 'next girlfriend' thanks very much!

 

[proud walker]

Speaking as a grandmother it would be a good idea to point out quietly but firmly that you and your husband will be choosing the baby's name, and you hope that when you've made your choice she will like it as much as you both do.

The living with bit is a bit difficult as you may find, whatever you're planning, that you have nowhere else, so best say as little as possible on that.

Judging by the men I have known I'd be surprised if he EVER stands up to her.

Just look on her as a necessary part of life, and forget about her when she's not there.

 

[liz]

Try talking to her. Let her know how she is making you feel. You also need to sit down with her and the boyfriend and let her know about the plans the two of you have made. If this doesn't help then you need to talk to your family. Maybe they can help with this problem. She may just want to make sure she is part of what is going on. Good luck.