How to deal with future sister-in-law getting in the way of sibling bonding?

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MamaD

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My husbands immediate family & myself live in the same house. Recently Ed's (my brother-in-law) girlfriend moved in. She had come down before to spend Christmas and New Years with us. At that time she would get possesive of Ed when Luna (my sister-in-law) or my husband would be talking to him. No big deal we thought she just wanted some time with him since she was only here for a few weeks. When she came to live here in May it got worse. Now everytime Luna, Ed & my husband plan to go out on a sibling outing, she throws a tantrum that shes being left out & will guilt trip Ed into going along ruining pretty much the whole idea of it being siblings only. Ever since she got here Ed has had no time to be able to spend with his siblings & its taking a toll on them. I dont know how to deal with it without getting annoyed that she wont let Ed go out alone with my husband or Luna. I know siblings need to spend time together, i just dont know how to make her see that w/out seeming pushy or mean.
 
make plans w/ her while he makes plans w/sibs for the same day. you may get to know her better and he gets time with the sibs.
 
Have you thought about maybe when they plan a sibling outing planing an in-law outing...this would give the sibling group time together and you guys time to get her involved in the family...i know my mom's sibling group does sibling dinners that the spouces do not attend...i think maybe this might help the whole sistuation...maybe could plan girls night outs and invite your sis-n-law and ed's gf...that would be something...i think this might help the sistuation...best of luck
 
You have no way of making her see that. You have a better chance at getting your husband to talk his brother about what he really wants - a live-in girlfriend who's controlling or a relationship with siblings. Ed might have exactly what he wants or he may need a quick check to make him realize he's creating an unwanted situation. My guess is, he prefers the free sex.
 
She may not realize that she is doing all this harm for your family and want to be a deep part of the family. But you want it to stop because it is very annoying to you all.

Why not have a wonderful breakfast prepared for the two of you and it be all the things she just loves. Have a prepared letter for her telling her very sweetly that she is a great part of the family and that the siblings need their own space until she is more into the family. Assure her that everyone cares, even though it may not be true. If this makes her feel much better , than you have pulled it off and peace will rein the family...................
 
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