I've just started writing a short story. I've only done about 2 chapters. I've asked a few people to read the intro, and they said it was well written but lacked a "catcher". My story is set in a futuristic/alternate world, so the first chapter followed 2 of the main characters (there are 5 characters, but the others are introduced one at a time later) thorough the morning and briefly thorough-out the school day. After school at sports practice (in Ch 2) the conflict is introduced.
The opening is the 2 teen boys leaving their dorm at a boarding school. They are running late due to one of the boys pulling a prank and are joking and rushing to get their on time. They get to school, and go through a normal day. I don't know how to modify it to be any other way. Usually I would think to start right at the action after school, but the story would make no sense whatsoever if the conflict started right away. The conflict has to do with people shutting down the school and the efforts to stop it. Without understanding a little bit of what the school is for, the conflict wouldn't be a conflict. I'm not describing the whole thing in the first chapter, but just showing how a typical day there is (very briefly, it goes from arriving at the school building adn going to lockers to being bored in last class) and how this event disrupt an otherwise normal day and starts the story.
sorry for the typos
The opening is the 2 teen boys leaving their dorm at a boarding school. They are running late due to one of the boys pulling a prank and are joking and rushing to get their on time. They get to school, and go through a normal day. I don't know how to modify it to be any other way. Usually I would think to start right at the action after school, but the story would make no sense whatsoever if the conflict started right away. The conflict has to do with people shutting down the school and the efforts to stop it. Without understanding a little bit of what the school is for, the conflict wouldn't be a conflict. I'm not describing the whole thing in the first chapter, but just showing how a typical day there is (very briefly, it goes from arriving at the school building adn going to lockers to being bored in last class) and how this event disrupt an otherwise normal day and starts the story.
sorry for the typos