Greg Lawson
New member
my life isn't really normal, there are many hurdles that ive had to get over and still trying to get over. I suppose ill start from the very start, when i was young i was a happy, self motivated person. I didn't really rely on my parents or sister because everytime i asked to do things they would never bother doing them, so i always kept myself to myself ( i still do). Over the years ive noticed my dad doesnt hardly talk to me, he favours my bitchy annoying brat of a older sister more, i dont say anything cause its always been normal. I just feel so lonely. My mom is the only person in the house i can confide to but shes the most Phsyco person you will ever meet, she screams, moans and completely fucks you up if you did something wrong, so in my defence i yell back then she starts argueing that its my falt. I just like to be left alone at times, im a 16 year old male im bound to have some hormones in me to make me moody and that. When im with my friends its pretty much the same story, they treat me like a doormat and think they can always rely on me because i will never let them down. And whenever i tell them this or get abit arguementative they treat me like im a baby and just laugh in my face, I HATE THAT, i hate it when people who know there in the wrong just laugh in your face trying to recover the conversation because they dont know what to say, and it makes me look so weak. And to make things more worse im in love with another boy, i dont want to be gay, ive always imagined myself with kids and a wife, but this boy (who is also my friend) is with me everyday and he is absoloutely gorgeous and all the girls are after him, it makes me feel like shit and everytime i see him and he looks or texts other girls it makes my heart and eyes feel like rock, but i cant do anything about it so im just standing there watching it all. It breaks my heart everyday and i cant do nothing because im stil 16 and whats a 16 year old gonna do? run away with no car no job no money. im stuck in a rut. My self confidence is at a all time low, i constantley think of suicide and slate my looks clothes and inteligence. I hate myself every day and my friends and family make me feel worse about myself. Is there anyway i can just boost my confidence and ge away from it all??