How to bite my tongue when it comes to the in-laws?

B

BarterBride

New member
My inlaws HATE me!!! I could honestly care less but I want to be supportive of my soon to be husband. They offered to even buy him a house in exchange for breaking it off with me and said to save the postage because they won't come to the wedding. Now they are trying to be nice and want us to come for Christmas and they want to come to the wedding and I can't get over it to not want to confront them. How the heck do I deal with this for my fiances (and theirs) sake?
It is really implortant we go to see them for the Holiday as his father is ill--- His parents live in another state (we are in OC and they are in Vegas) I just hate having to stay in the same house with them. His mother is truly so mean to me because we have lived together (prior to being married) and I have a daughter from a previous marriage. I want the peace but no-matter what I do she's incredible when it comes to sly comments and I on the other hand truly cannot keep my mouth shut when it comes to people being rude to me.
Thanks Aloha. I will try my hardest and hope its enough. I know his oarent's wont be around forever as they are in their late 60's while my parents are in their 40's and just want it to be okay between him and them.
 
This advice is coming from a woman whose in-laws hated her. The feeling was entirely mutual.

If they have invited you for Christmas and want to come to the wedding, be gracious and allow it to happen. You don't have to kiss their behinds, but be cordial and polite. Maybe they've realized that their son is going to marry you regardless of their feelings and they are willing to suck it up in order to not lose him. That's HUGE.

The poster who said "you are marrying your husband, not them" is wrong. DEAD WRONG. I thought the same thing before my wedding nine years ago and I was wrong too. Unfortunately for me, my husband wasn't willing to stand up for me with his parents and they "won." We are now divorced. If your husband wants to continue having a relationship with his family, you will have to find a way to get along with them for the sake of your marriage. Like I said: be cordial and polite. Treat them kindly without going overboard and wait to see if they've truly changed. It's possible that they have. If they haven't, you need to decide whether or not it's worth it to marry this guy. It sucks to have the man you love defend his parents at every turn. Believe me, I know. No matter how evil my in-laws were or what horrible things they said, my husband defended them. It ate us up and there was so much resentment on my part I just couldn't let it go. Our marriage lasted less than five years and his parents were a BIG part of why we split up.

Don't confront them yet. It seems that they're making an effort. You'll know in time if it's an honest effort. If it's not, deeply consider whether or not you can live with loving a man whose parents hate you. It's not easy, but if he's on your side, you can do it.
 
Girl you r lucky....

Your to be husband has the guts to face his parents and stick by you

So you have nothing to worry

Your inlaws have to accept you.....yes... they might feel a bit defeated and thereby vent out by being sarcastic towards you. It would be natural to give back the same.. but surprise them doing the opposite. Be nice to them...but with dignity.

i sure the will see the beautiful person that you are, in time
 
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