How to befriend a girl of whom I already confessed to(with a love letter)?

S

Seal Rock33

New member
NEVER NEVER do that again you hear me! You dont ever confess your feelings to a girl until you are definitely sure she likes you. If you do like you did here you will lose every SINGLE time. Stop trying to "woo" her this is the real world not the movies your mission should be to become atleast friends with her first a "flirty friend" that keeps her guessing. Now I am sorry to tell you that when I was new to the game I did the same as you ie. writing a stupid message telling this girl how I felt albeit prematurely. The girl did like me but the letter killed my chances because it put her under pressure to perform and made her feel uncomfortable because whenever I spoke to her she knew exactly what I was up to. Some girls are more forgiving than others so maybe you still have a chance. I say text her but tone down on the flirting a bit since you need to back track a bit. GOOD LUCK
 
You sound just like I did about ten years ago. I have done the exact same thing, and had the exact same result. The truth is, once you reveal intentions to a girl in that way, it's really up to her how to respond. She probably had plenty of time to think this over and she has made her decision. If she decided that she wanted to date you, the two of you would be dating right now.

When a girl discovers a guy has interest in her as more than a friend, she will either do one of two things. She will open herself up to him, or she will give him the cold shoulder. The truth is, and I have heard this from girls personally, is that they back off from being friends with him. They basically worry that they will have to censor themselves around you, back off from any nice gestures they normally make with their friends, for fear of leading you on and generally worry that they are going to hurt you.

So what to do about this situation? There really isn't much you can do at this point. Is there any kind of magic social maneuver you can make to change the way she feels? Nope. There is no poem you can write, no letter you can carefully compose, no prayer you can say, no bouquet of "friend flowers" you can give her. Sadly, you kinda blew it.

But don't get too down on yourself. It was worth a try, and courtship and dating situations are all about trial and error. Very few people get it right the first time, and many times it is years of trying before they do get it right. Sometimes when they do, its purely by accident.

My advice in the future is not to try to make a girlfriend out of a friend. Never look at being friends with a girl as a stepping stone to having her as a girlfriend. Once she has decided you are not a dating prospect, which tends to be decided on within the first five minutes of meeting you, you get filed under the friend zone. So what about all these examples you see on TV, where the guy and girl are best friends and end up as a couple? There's a reason why those are on TV. Not because its a reflection of the way things are in real life, but because those are the exceptions rather than the norm.

And that's the best advice I can give.
 
I gave the girl of my dreams a confession letter with the support of my friends and hers(we're kinda part of group) I had a casual relantionship with her prior the letter-giving. I also gave it to her discreetly. My friends thinks that its fine and its romantic. It's my friends that encouraged me to do it after all.(a male and female friend that the girl have close relationships too)

Her initial reaction to the letter was a blush.(I was told later) She kept giving me good responses every time I was approaching her days later. But I didn't know better, when I was composing the letter, that girls would feel awkward afterward they formally knew what guys intend to do.

And now my greatest fears were happening. She is currently giving me the cold shoulder. And It's very hard to start a casual conversation with her today. I'm good guy and it's my first time courting.

Well I tried courage and being a gentlemen/funny guy/romantic guy around her. I am currently reading books on dating and being a funny guy. Although I keep failing in terms of regularly texting her XD. But now it's just so complicated that I can't figure what to do next. Although I plan to text or call her from now on. I want all the bases covered.


I need new ideas!!

Someone help!!! I really want to have a relationship with her or salvage whats left of it.!
How can I make her feel comfortable to me again?!
 
Just confront her, face to face. Tell her that if she doesn't feel the same about you that that's fine. That you don't want it to be awkward around her.
 
here is what you should do... give her time (1-3 months) to think about it. let her live her life and think about it. she will come to you when she is ready... don't push or you can lose any chance you had... may stress her out or make her feel pressured.

maybe just hang out with the friends but ignore her (not in a bad way). let her come around when she's ready.
 
here is what you should do... give her time (1-3 months) to think about it. let her live her life and think about it. she will come to you when she is ready... don't push or you can lose any chance you had... may stress her out or make her feel pressured.

maybe just hang out with the friends but ignore her (not in a bad way). let her come around when she's ready.
 
here is what you should do... give her time (1-3 months) to think about it. let her live her life and think about it. she will come to you when she is ready... don't push or you can lose any chance you had... may stress her out or make her feel pressured.

maybe just hang out with the friends but ignore her (not in a bad way). let her come around when she's ready.
 
here is what you should do... give her time (1-3 months) to think about it. let her live her life and think about it. she will come to you when she is ready... don't push or you can lose any chance you had... may stress her out or make her feel pressured.

maybe just hang out with the friends but ignore her (not in a bad way). let her come around when she's ready.
 
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