how often is TOO often to complain about your job...?

M

marypoppins

New member
my husband complains about his job and i finallly got sick of the sh*t and told i dont care! either changed jobs or change your attitude--is what i told him. anyway, he got mad and said i should listen and stuff. i'm a bit confused though. he's been complaining about this job for 3 YEARS and he's gotten better cause he used to be like every other day and now it's about 2 times a week, 1 time at best. but i still that that's too much. i dotn LOVE my job, but i dont go around complaining about it either. i dont complain about ti with anyone. every now and again, if some specific, i talk to a co-worker. or i'll talk to my husband. we work in completely different field, so hard to relate (i'm is social service field and he's in construction)
sometimes even longer than 30 mins. it's crazy!!
MARY: i agree w/ you and that's what i was doing for a few years, but sometimes when he's complaining about his job, i get ANGRY because we could be talking about LIFE or family or where we want to move or vacations or our son or ANYTHIGN, but we're wasting time w/ these 30 mins vents. i'm sick of them. sheesh. i'm just not use to, besides my huban, someone complailng. we're goin to work until we die, GET OVER IT. sheesh. i'm tryign to be understanding, but i'm FAST losing my patience at thist point.
sometimes even longer than 30 mins. it's crazy!!
 
Studies have been done on the effects of complaining. While "venting" for a couple of minutes has been shown to be helpful, constant complaining actually makes the person perceive the problem as worse than it is.

You were right to tell him to either change jobs or shut the heck up. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down. So what if he got mad? Oh, well. Keep repeating the same refrain: "Sorry you had a bad day, but if it's really that bad then go into another line of work. Yes, I'm willing to listen every once in a while. Yes, I sympathize. But no, I'm not your personal sounding board. Fix or change it, I don't care... just stop making yourself and me miserable!"
 
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