How long should I be faithful to my wife, when for the moment we don't live

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littlestar

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Honestly, it sounds like her heart is out of marriage. Ithink that yuou should tell her that either you guys go through marriage counselling or head for a divorce. You guys aren't acting like you are married but more like roomates and that's unfair. She can "find yourself" with you. It's not like she has to ignore you. The sex thing is really selfish of her and I think she is using it like leverage over you and may hope that you do cheat so that she has better grounds to divorce you and maybe get better alimony. Don't give that satisfaction. You can write that one of the reasons for divorce was that she caught off communication with you, rejected you both emotionally and physically and even told you to "fool around", but you didn't because you respected your marriage whereas it is apparent that she never did. By doing so you have leverage.
If you still love her, do the therapy thing with her and try to get her affection. If you see tat nothing is happening, walk away. You cannot make someone to love you. I wish the best1
 
together and she want have sex? Here the situation. My wife said that she need time to find herself. So, she move out. She said for the moment that she do not want the marriage anymore. There is no separation agreement done up yet because I am respecting her wishes, but I am a man and just like a woman I have needs too. I have been two months without sex, because she saids that she don't want to lead me on. This is my wife to whom I have been married to for 13 years. I can touch her or nothing. When I ask her what I am suppose to do. She reply that she is not telling me to go out and have an affair and she is not going to tell you to go. I just got back for Iriaq, in January and if you add these two months to the six months than it has been eight months since I have had sex . Now this a woman that carrys a grudge. She does not know how to forgive. So if I go out and have an affair all hell is going to break loose. It's like I am stuck between a rock and a hard shell and I am about to go out of my mind. I am really trying to be patient but this is some BS. Can I get some feed back
 
She's using you. Plain and simple.
While she's away from you, are you still covering her medical benefits, giving her money, supporting her?
Get a LEGAL separation agreement.
good luck.
 
What I am hearing is that while you were gone, she lost her emotional connection with you. In fact, she may have developed an emotional connection with somebody else and now she is trying to sort out her feelings. I think she is feeling guilty.
You need to be the strong one in this marriage. You need to go back to the basics of courting her and wooing her back to you. Show her that you love her. Ask her to get some counseling and volunteer to go with her so that you can reestablish your love. Encourage her to open up to you and tell you what she is thinking or feeling.
If she won't open up and won't go to counseling, then you may want to drop the bomb and tell her that you cannot go on this way, being married but being away from her. You have to either reestablish the marriage or call it off. Sitting in the middle won't do.
Please try to reconcile first.
P.S. I've been there. My wife didn't feel like being intimate during her pregnancies or for quite a while afterwards. I was patient with her and waited for her to feel better and be able to be intimate again.
 
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