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How important is good sex in a long-term relationship?
- Thread starter Shawn
- Start date
Shawn, it very important but not the only goals of the relationship. Couple this with the fact that most men believe that sex equals intimacy and the divide between a mans needs and a woman’s needs in a long term relationship widens.
Most women crave intimacy. Intimacy is greatly misunderstood by many men, we think intimacy is being desired, which leads to sex. Men are more complex than one may think. Men love to be desired. Even if our mate cannot or does not want to have sex with us, we must be made to feel that we are desired. We must feel wanted and needed.
Intimacy for most women goes much deeper, most women want to have an intimate relationship and that intimacy extends way beyond the bedroom. True intimacy has very little to do with the physical aspect of a relationship, it has more to do with conversation, listening, caring, eye contact, subtle touching, knowing looks, thinking beyond the moment, surprise phone calls, remembering important dates, remembering conversations, cuddling, back rubs and foot rubs with no sexual expectations, sharing dreams, concerns, fears, etc. There are many ways to be intimate, however many men have a low desire for true intimacy.
Note, what I have just written about is somewhat typical, however it certainly does not apply to all men or all women. Each individual has different needs and many of those needs cross gender roles. With that being said, our culture does have a great deal of influence on our expectations of a relationship.
One of the keys to a successful long-term relationship is to always respect and be aware of the other persons needs. We must shed our protectiveness to make it all about “us” and develop an awareness of what is going on in the life of the other person and see them and our relationship with each other holistically. If there are differences in each other’s needs than we must communicate those differences. It is also important to acknowledge that in a long-term relationship our needs will evolve and it is unfair to assume that our mate will pick up on those sometimes-subtle changes. Communication is key to ensuring that we each have an understanding of the needs of each other.
Most women crave intimacy. Intimacy is greatly misunderstood by many men, we think intimacy is being desired, which leads to sex. Men are more complex than one may think. Men love to be desired. Even if our mate cannot or does not want to have sex with us, we must be made to feel that we are desired. We must feel wanted and needed.
Intimacy for most women goes much deeper, most women want to have an intimate relationship and that intimacy extends way beyond the bedroom. True intimacy has very little to do with the physical aspect of a relationship, it has more to do with conversation, listening, caring, eye contact, subtle touching, knowing looks, thinking beyond the moment, surprise phone calls, remembering important dates, remembering conversations, cuddling, back rubs and foot rubs with no sexual expectations, sharing dreams, concerns, fears, etc. There are many ways to be intimate, however many men have a low desire for true intimacy.
Note, what I have just written about is somewhat typical, however it certainly does not apply to all men or all women. Each individual has different needs and many of those needs cross gender roles. With that being said, our culture does have a great deal of influence on our expectations of a relationship.
One of the keys to a successful long-term relationship is to always respect and be aware of the other persons needs. We must shed our protectiveness to make it all about “us” and develop an awareness of what is going on in the life of the other person and see them and our relationship with each other holistically. If there are differences in each other’s needs than we must communicate those differences. It is also important to acknowledge that in a long-term relationship our needs will evolve and it is unfair to assume that our mate will pick up on those sometimes-subtle changes. Communication is key to ensuring that we each have an understanding of the needs of each other.
B
Barbie00
Guest
very important