how does the beginning of my college essay sound?

Sarah

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5’1”. My body struggled down the narrow dock while dragging along a massive tank of steel, empowering my entire body. An enormous gust of wind completely dominated my balance. Being the amateur of the group, there seemed to be a vibe of curiosity that was coming from others; how would I be able to perform in such weather conditions? The thought of the choppy waves, vigorous winds, and strong currents overwhelmed me. Abruptly, I shook away any thoughts of fear I had and proceeded into the water.


***it's about me going through tough obstacles into getting my scuba certified
 
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