How do you talk to your partner about your lack of enjoyment during sex...

C

Crystal

New member
...without hurting their feelings? My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years. We have a wonderful life together with our 10 month old daughter. We get to travel and see the world together because he's in the military. We love each other with everything we have. The only problem is that sex, for me, is so boring. He's more conservative when it comes to sex and I'm more adventurous. I like to try new things and get a little wild, but that kind of stuff makes him uncomfortable. Yesterday, I asked a question about me being a horrible person because I've taken to fantasizing about celebrities because our regular sex isn't doing the job anymore. Luckily, I got a lot of encouragement and positive feedback and that made me feel a little less guilty about it. I'd still like to talk to my husband about my lack of enjoyment and how we can fix it, but I don't know how to go about it without hurting his feelings and making him feel less than a man. We all know how sensitive men get on the topic of sex.

Any suggestions?
 
well i am married and i no men can be very funny about the whole sex topic if you the women is saying she is not enjoying it but if you want a better time in bed talk to him he will listen men do not always listen but say the word sex and their ears open Lil............ i no you said he does not like trying new things but just do it and im sure he will not complain go to the adult store get some sex games lotions flavored lubes anything that looks fun don't over whelm him just bring 1 or 2 things out at a time or maybe find out what he likes in bed and then you think about what you like and try to combine the two so you both enjoy it maybe to start the conversation off tell him you no id like to try new things in bed it would be fun and we might as well make the best out of our alone time since you have a 10 month od use your imagination and have fun
 
This question is wrong on soooooooooo many levels. First, if you was not a virgin before marriage, you didn't know he was conservative in the bedroom? But again, I dont know you so I won't talk about that. Anyway, since you are married COMMUNICATION is the key to success in any marriage. Just tell him.. Maybe catch him while he's on the couch and say "babe I need to speak to you"? Or while the two of you are laying in bed bring it up.... Not only tell him that you are dissatisfied but tell him what can be done to make you happy in that department.....
Good luck.
 
Maybe it is time for you to take the intuitive ...and bedroom control.
Buy a book on sex positions...and let him flick through till he finds something that you both may like....
Or you could add "hey lets try this or that "
After all variety is the spice of life.
l think he justs needs a little gentle nudge in the right direction.
 
First of all, how would you know whether or not she was a virgin when they married?

Secondly on to the question.

The best way to not hurt his feelings is by not making him feel inadequate. Think about how you would want him to tell you that you aren't satisfying him in bed.

Perhaps the easiest way to change things is to go cowgirl, so you control what goes on. Taking the initiative is a good way to get what you want.

Another way to get what you want, is to tell him what you want and like, then encourage him with a little oohing and ahhing during, or pointing out what you really enjoyed afterwards, or both!

Moving on from there, is some possible role play. This could start by you asking him what his biggest fantasy is and acting it out with him(within reason), then it's your turn.

Perhaps watching an erotic film will inspire a little kink.

Some low key toys ( handcuffs, blindfolds, ticklers) a spank on the rear end, flavored lubes, or edible panties could be helpful in getting the ball rolling too.
 
sAy tO hIm tHaT yOu lOvE hIm bUt yOuR nOt hAvInG aNY eNjOyMeNt mAkInG lOvE aNd yOuR wAnT tO tRy dIfFeReNt tHiNgS.

aNd hOpEfUlLy hE wiLl bEcOme mOrE aDvEnTuRoUs iN bEd.
 
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