How do you like my river poem?

S

Stephen R

New member
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"Hudson River"
Stephen Rodriguez

Muh-he-kun-ne-tuk, you sway
Into my arms with tangent grace;
Your fossil soul is live again
With tiger-prey embrace.

Hold me, mother river,
Drag me to the mudcake floor.
Refresh the earth inside of me
Then lay me on your shore.
 
I really like it, but it's a little short. You might work on lengthening it a little.

Also, I don't get what Muh-he-kun-ne-tuk is, and if I don't, I doubt many readers do.

But yes, I really do like it. It does remind me of the river and actually gives me nostalgia.
 
Interesting to use the native indian name. Googled it and it means flows both ways. I like the poem. L2S2 would not 'your' be better than 'the'?
 
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