I made this poem for my mommy who passed away. I'm only 15, do you think I did a good job for my age? Do you think it could win me a poetry contest? Any things I could change? I'm still working on some of the parts where it doesn't rhyme, or where it totally start a new topic. how do you think I could improve it?
As true as the ocean blue, I look into my heart and see you.
You stare at me, with eyes full of tears, I cry too, out of love and fear.
My body is bursting with happiness and love.
This is better than all the above.
I try and hold onto your precious soul, my body trembles cold at the told thought of losing you
I hold on cry tighten my grip in a hopeful effort of not losing you.
I then finally drop to the ground.
Away you go to the place of streets of gold.
I stand there in absolute shock.
Away you walk.
I hold onto myself from the outside, but inside I quiver at the sound of your name.
Strong, I go on my life heartbroken for you
I still have the memories, and pictures collecting dust in the frames.
I still freeze when somebody calls your name.
I survive, hold my head high.
Because I know that’s what would make you happy.
I make it the best I can in this scary place without you.
Oh how I wish you were here.
People laugh and talk, but I sit there in shock as I push myself into the thought of you.
I look inside my mind, glancing at my mental image of you smiling and fine.
I squish those thoughts into a small ball,
A ball so tight, nobody can see it
I protect that ball deep inside of me. .
I weep and sob and mop. But that just makes me look weak.
So instead I put a smile on and go on with my week.
I dream that somehow you are there.
But somehow I realize that’s just a silly fantasy up in the air
I wear a mask of happiness and bliss,
While my inside seem like a sadness abyss
I float into the sweet dreams at night
where are you still there to hold me tight
The fun and games we had, somehow seem to make me feel sad
I Dwell on the thought of you, and think that maybe you were to good for me
That since you were the best mom, I don’t get to keep you forever.
Or maybe I just have terrible luck.
Like a small duck, I’m lost without my mom, and try to find a new one
It just doesn’t fit.
Like a shoe much to small.
Or a dress much to big.
I could get up the will to raise my hand in class. And say “teacher I can not possibly give my mother her mothers day card”
But that’s to hard.
Instead I sit there in solem as a skecth a rainbow insted
I know you wish with all of your might you could be here too
That’s why I sometimes know your there at night.
You kiss my forehead.
I feel the chill
You will not stay for long, you just watch from a distance
That’s all you can do now.
As true as the ocean blue, I look into my heart and see you.
You stare at me, with eyes full of tears, I cry too, out of love and fear.
My body is bursting with happiness and love.
This is better than all the above.
I try and hold onto your precious soul, my body trembles cold at the told thought of losing you
I hold on cry tighten my grip in a hopeful effort of not losing you.
I then finally drop to the ground.
Away you go to the place of streets of gold.
I stand there in absolute shock.
Away you walk.
I hold onto myself from the outside, but inside I quiver at the sound of your name.
Strong, I go on my life heartbroken for you
I still have the memories, and pictures collecting dust in the frames.
I still freeze when somebody calls your name.
I survive, hold my head high.
Because I know that’s what would make you happy.
I make it the best I can in this scary place without you.
Oh how I wish you were here.
People laugh and talk, but I sit there in shock as I push myself into the thought of you.
I look inside my mind, glancing at my mental image of you smiling and fine.
I squish those thoughts into a small ball,
A ball so tight, nobody can see it
I protect that ball deep inside of me. .
I weep and sob and mop. But that just makes me look weak.
So instead I put a smile on and go on with my week.
I dream that somehow you are there.
But somehow I realize that’s just a silly fantasy up in the air
I wear a mask of happiness and bliss,
While my inside seem like a sadness abyss
I float into the sweet dreams at night
where are you still there to hold me tight
The fun and games we had, somehow seem to make me feel sad
I Dwell on the thought of you, and think that maybe you were to good for me
That since you were the best mom, I don’t get to keep you forever.
Or maybe I just have terrible luck.
Like a small duck, I’m lost without my mom, and try to find a new one
It just doesn’t fit.
Like a shoe much to small.
Or a dress much to big.
I could get up the will to raise my hand in class. And say “teacher I can not possibly give my mother her mothers day card”
But that’s to hard.
Instead I sit there in solem as a skecth a rainbow insted
I know you wish with all of your might you could be here too
That’s why I sometimes know your there at night.
You kiss my forehead.
I feel the chill
You will not stay for long, you just watch from a distance
That’s all you can do now.