How do you commit to marriage when our culture is all about choice and independence?

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ponderinglife

New member
I grew up in a large, close-knit family. There were some divorces, but mainly marriage was revered and honored.

However, our culture is all about choice. People upgrade their cell phones every year, there's always a new "model" of some car or laptop or something. Even jobs and careers can be changed dramatically. It seems there are not many things in our lives that don't change often or significantly.

So how does marriage fit into all this? I'm 27 and would love to be happily married someday (though still figuring out what that means exactly).

I'm just wondering how you can make such a huge commitment when everything else around us and in our lives is usually temporary or terminal?

Thoughts, experiences?
 
Who says you have to go along with the current culture? Buck the trend. Get married to the right person, for the right reasons and stay married. Like you said, it's all about choice and independence. You can choose to have the partner you want and the marriage you both want and do so independently from what the current trend is. Good luck!
 
Unfortunately, everything now is viewed as replaceable, upgradeable, temporary, etc.

It was easy for my husband and I to make a commitment to each other because we have talked honestly and frequently about our desires, goals, and plans for the future. We know where we are headed, and are willing to weather any bumps in the road. We don't view each other as replaceable and we operate from values that have been instilled in us since we were children.

What you are talking about are material things: cars, phones, laptops, the way we earn paychecks. A marriage is about non-material things: trust, respect, love, honesty, communication, a shared goal, values, etc. You can't quantify or put an expiration date on these things, and it's not as if your values or belief system changes every year or so. Most people retain the same values they grew up with into old age.

It's easy to make a marriage work when you don't view it as temporary. As long as you are both in it for life, and neither of you believe in divorce as an easy way out when you are "ready for an upgrade", you should be okay. Just try not to think of marriage and relationships in terms of material things like cell phones and cars. Apples and oranges, m'dear.
 
and divorce rates are also extremely high nowadays. there is a lot of choice, and because of that people jump into a marriage and then get divorced cuz they made the wrong choice.
 
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