I will be leaving my position in August, but even four more months of working with a boss who suffers from borderline personality will be challenging. When I first realized what was going on with all the splitting, mood swings, irrational outbursts, manipulations, backbiting, personality shifts from charming to cruel, desperate attempts to keep me on board (while being insulting at the same time), narcissism, etc., it nearly drove me to distraction. So, I researched bpd. Now I just focus on my work and on the students, all that I love about the job, and try not to trigger her.
Lately, my boss is going through a nasty divorce and has warned me that she is about to also go through a tough period at work as well with funding requests, reporting, etc. Meaning that her dark side is about to make a full appearance. I would love to leave this job sooner, but I can't afford it. I need all the advice I can get here, esp. from people who understand borderline personality disorder and how it manifests in the workplace. How can I work with her? Walking around on eggshells just does not work. Sometimes it works just to avoid contact with her when she is having an episode and to be completely open and encouraging when she is being kind, fair, or reasonable.
The problem is that she is new at management. This is her company. She does not give clear directions because she is used to running the whole show herself, and her communication skills and people skills are lacking. When mistakes are made because of her lack of clarity, she becomes downright nasty. If I ask clarifying questions, she becomes insulting. This situation is draining. I use my days off to regroup, regenerate, and focus on my own creative projects (which she also insults). Knowing that I am leaving helps, but since I do care about the program, especially the students, for the time being what can I do to take care of myself and do my best work?
Lately, my boss is going through a nasty divorce and has warned me that she is about to also go through a tough period at work as well with funding requests, reporting, etc. Meaning that her dark side is about to make a full appearance. I would love to leave this job sooner, but I can't afford it. I need all the advice I can get here, esp. from people who understand borderline personality disorder and how it manifests in the workplace. How can I work with her? Walking around on eggshells just does not work. Sometimes it works just to avoid contact with her when she is having an episode and to be completely open and encouraging when she is being kind, fair, or reasonable.
The problem is that she is new at management. This is her company. She does not give clear directions because she is used to running the whole show herself, and her communication skills and people skills are lacking. When mistakes are made because of her lack of clarity, she becomes downright nasty. If I ask clarifying questions, she becomes insulting. This situation is draining. I use my days off to regroup, regenerate, and focus on my own creative projects (which she also insults). Knowing that I am leaving helps, but since I do care about the program, especially the students, for the time being what can I do to take care of myself and do my best work?