Conciella Sam
New member
that I'm not sure I could deal with it?
I know he and I are both very young...but trust me, we DO love each other very much despite the age. I'm 18, he's 21. He's going into the military next year, but is still deciding on police or military. He's told me many, many times before that if I want the sort of relationship where I get to see him everyday, he'll stay and do police. I told him not to do this because I'd want him to do what makes him happy. We DO have plans for marriage...but I'm going into university next year to study veterinary surgery and in the beginning the plan was to go to uni, while he was in the police...and we would live in our own flat together (we worked everything out) then he had thoughts about the Army, and I'm sure that's what he'll choose.
My course is going to be a minimum of seven years, and he'll be in the Army for months and months at a time so I doubt we'll see each other very much. I want us to work out more than anything, but the ONE thing I'm really worried about is infidelity. I DO trust him, but no one plans on cheating until it happens..and with all the temptation there for him, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle just thinking about it. I love him more than anything, and we do have plans for marriage...but I still worry about it everyday. I'd miss him too much, I'm not a very social person, I have no family whom I'm close with, no friends I'm close to. He's basically the only person I'm close with in my life. I tell him everything, I suffer from severe depression (I'm getting help with this) and I don't know what I'd do without him. I cry myself to sleep every night knowing I'm not going to have him in just a few months.I brought up the topic of giving 'us' a break for a few weeks so we could see how it goes, and he almost went into tears. I don't want to end it, but I feel as if this may be best? He and I have this dream where after he's done the Army, and me university he and I will buy a house in the Lake District...but I'm just scared it won't work out. I DON'T want anyone else, I don't care if it's common meeting others in university, he's the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with...but I'm scared I won't be able to handle it. I'm not an emotionally strong person and I'm just afraid.
I don't want to tell him that I wouldn't be able to handle him going into the Army because I DO know that if I were to tell him, he wouldn't go. This is his dream, and in 20-30 years I don't want him looking back and regretting his decision...but I'm starting to feel it's best to at least take a break while he's there. How do I go about telling him this? I know that if I tell him he'll begin to say "I'l just choose the police instead, I want you more than anything" etc. he's said if it was a problem he would pick it over the Army..but I'd hate myself for it. He goes on and on some days talking about how he's excited for it, and I would hate getting in the way. I'm sorry if I sound selfish, that's not my intention, I only want him to do something that'll make him happy, but I also don't think I'd be able to handle it all. How can I tell him this? I
I know he and I are both very young...but trust me, we DO love each other very much despite the age. I'm 18, he's 21. He's going into the military next year, but is still deciding on police or military. He's told me many, many times before that if I want the sort of relationship where I get to see him everyday, he'll stay and do police. I told him not to do this because I'd want him to do what makes him happy. We DO have plans for marriage...but I'm going into university next year to study veterinary surgery and in the beginning the plan was to go to uni, while he was in the police...and we would live in our own flat together (we worked everything out) then he had thoughts about the Army, and I'm sure that's what he'll choose.
My course is going to be a minimum of seven years, and he'll be in the Army for months and months at a time so I doubt we'll see each other very much. I want us to work out more than anything, but the ONE thing I'm really worried about is infidelity. I DO trust him, but no one plans on cheating until it happens..and with all the temptation there for him, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle just thinking about it. I love him more than anything, and we do have plans for marriage...but I still worry about it everyday. I'd miss him too much, I'm not a very social person, I have no family whom I'm close with, no friends I'm close to. He's basically the only person I'm close with in my life. I tell him everything, I suffer from severe depression (I'm getting help with this) and I don't know what I'd do without him. I cry myself to sleep every night knowing I'm not going to have him in just a few months.I brought up the topic of giving 'us' a break for a few weeks so we could see how it goes, and he almost went into tears. I don't want to end it, but I feel as if this may be best? He and I have this dream where after he's done the Army, and me university he and I will buy a house in the Lake District...but I'm just scared it won't work out. I DON'T want anyone else, I don't care if it's common meeting others in university, he's the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with...but I'm scared I won't be able to handle it. I'm not an emotionally strong person and I'm just afraid.
I don't want to tell him that I wouldn't be able to handle him going into the Army because I DO know that if I were to tell him, he wouldn't go. This is his dream, and in 20-30 years I don't want him looking back and regretting his decision...but I'm starting to feel it's best to at least take a break while he's there. How do I go about telling him this? I know that if I tell him he'll begin to say "I'l just choose the police instead, I want you more than anything" etc. he's said if it was a problem he would pick it over the Army..but I'd hate myself for it. He goes on and on some days talking about how he's excited for it, and I would hate getting in the way. I'm sorry if I sound selfish, that's not my intention, I only want him to do something that'll make him happy, but I also don't think I'd be able to handle it all. How can I tell him this? I