Some of you may have seen my last question, here it is.
"A little backstory, first:
I'm 13, and I had a crush on this girl who's turning 12 in a few days. Her parents are going through a rather nasty divorce, and they got kicked out of their house. I received the news that they would be moving in with us for a little while(her mom and 4 younger siblings). Shortly after, I asked her out. She said no(and said later that she was being cautious), then about a week later asked me out(she was sure then that I wouldn't do anything crazy[she's had a lot of weird things happen to her]). I said yes, and we went out for around a month. Then, she gave me a letter saying that my emotions were too strong for her(what??), and basically just breaking up. She later revealed that she had been having second thoughts during the whole relationship, and figured that since she was having all these second thoughts, it must not be right for her, so she stopped loving me. I also had those second thoughts, but realized that people have second thoughts on everything, so I completely ignored them. Two weeks later, she gets out of me(I had no way of getting out of it without damaging our friendship) that I still love her. I ask if that's what she wants, she says yes and no(I don't know why yes, she won't tell me). She says that she wants to try other guys before getting back into anything with me, but a little part of her wants me to love her. Since then(about a week ago), I've been going through a whirlwind of HATE everything she does, how I was such an idiot etc. etc. etc., then flopping around to the state of "I'll do anything to get her back." She's now sending me mixed signals, as she seems to like to do. As an example, in the Aikido class we both take, she always picks me first as a partner.
My question is, mostly, I'm having a lot of negative reactions to things that I heard/saw a lot while we were going out, and I'm just wondering how to stop these. For example, tears almost come to my eyes whenever I hear her sing, look at a picture of her, smell her hair, etc.
Also, if anyone has any advice on the whole situation in general, please give it.
* 2 months ago
Additional Details
She has since moved out.
2 months ago
We are also almost exact opposites in personality, music tastes, religion(well, not exactly an opposite, but very different), all that."
Now, things have advanced(that was two months ago). We got together again, had it going good, and during that time we first had broken up, I had a loose tongue and accidentally told her some things I had practically sworn never to talk to her about again. She told her mom I had said these things, then began to lie and add on even more bad things that I did, when I didn't. When I denied these, she got furious with me. Both my parents and her mom forced us to break up, and I was just fine with that after what she had done. About a week later, when I next talked to her, she was extremely apologetic and was wondering if we could still be friends. I haven't answered her question(mostly due to not actually having a chance to talk to her). I no longer want to be even friends with her, because I can't trust her(she lies way too much, and she has done some manipulative things to people in the past). Yet, I still love her just as much as I did when we were together. I recently had a, shall we say, spiritual experience that made me realize just how furious I was with her(a part of me I've never seen before), I am really distancing myself from her... Yet I want to be as close as I can. I seem to still love her, but I hate the fact that I do. I am thinking the only way to stop loving her is to hate her, but I'm not sure how or even that I can bring myself to do that. Any advice to moving on and away from her?
"A little backstory, first:
I'm 13, and I had a crush on this girl who's turning 12 in a few days. Her parents are going through a rather nasty divorce, and they got kicked out of their house. I received the news that they would be moving in with us for a little while(her mom and 4 younger siblings). Shortly after, I asked her out. She said no(and said later that she was being cautious), then about a week later asked me out(she was sure then that I wouldn't do anything crazy[she's had a lot of weird things happen to her]). I said yes, and we went out for around a month. Then, she gave me a letter saying that my emotions were too strong for her(what??), and basically just breaking up. She later revealed that she had been having second thoughts during the whole relationship, and figured that since she was having all these second thoughts, it must not be right for her, so she stopped loving me. I also had those second thoughts, but realized that people have second thoughts on everything, so I completely ignored them. Two weeks later, she gets out of me(I had no way of getting out of it without damaging our friendship) that I still love her. I ask if that's what she wants, she says yes and no(I don't know why yes, she won't tell me). She says that she wants to try other guys before getting back into anything with me, but a little part of her wants me to love her. Since then(about a week ago), I've been going through a whirlwind of HATE everything she does, how I was such an idiot etc. etc. etc., then flopping around to the state of "I'll do anything to get her back." She's now sending me mixed signals, as she seems to like to do. As an example, in the Aikido class we both take, she always picks me first as a partner.
My question is, mostly, I'm having a lot of negative reactions to things that I heard/saw a lot while we were going out, and I'm just wondering how to stop these. For example, tears almost come to my eyes whenever I hear her sing, look at a picture of her, smell her hair, etc.
Also, if anyone has any advice on the whole situation in general, please give it.
* 2 months ago
Additional Details
She has since moved out.
2 months ago
We are also almost exact opposites in personality, music tastes, religion(well, not exactly an opposite, but very different), all that."
Now, things have advanced(that was two months ago). We got together again, had it going good, and during that time we first had broken up, I had a loose tongue and accidentally told her some things I had practically sworn never to talk to her about again. She told her mom I had said these things, then began to lie and add on even more bad things that I did, when I didn't. When I denied these, she got furious with me. Both my parents and her mom forced us to break up, and I was just fine with that after what she had done. About a week later, when I next talked to her, she was extremely apologetic and was wondering if we could still be friends. I haven't answered her question(mostly due to not actually having a chance to talk to her). I no longer want to be even friends with her, because I can't trust her(she lies way too much, and she has done some manipulative things to people in the past). Yet, I still love her just as much as I did when we were together. I recently had a, shall we say, spiritual experience that made me realize just how furious I was with her(a part of me I've never seen before), I am really distancing myself from her... Yet I want to be as close as I can. I seem to still love her, but I hate the fact that I do. I am thinking the only way to stop loving her is to hate her, but I'm not sure how or even that I can bring myself to do that. Any advice to moving on and away from her?