Let's discuss
New member
I would appreciate sincere answers to what I believe is a problem in my thinking process's when it comes to African Americans.
Why do I have these feelings:
To make a long story short I was raised in a black neighborhood and went to a nearly all black school from 3rd grade to graduation. I won't go into every detail because that takes away from the point of my question (my racism) but I will say this. Myself, sister & mother were tormented beyond belief. My sister was beaten many times by black girls for committing the crime of being pretty, blonde hair, blue eyed. At one point she was jumped by 6 black girls in the bathroom and beaten so severly she was hospitalized for 10 days...she was in 4th grade. The school did nothing out of fear of causing a "racial problem" , the beateings happened numerous times. I was also beaten and chased and mocked, laughed at and was always held accountable for slavery, even though my mothers family faught on the north's side and my father's family didn't arrive until 1908. I won't go into the details of what happened to my mother here on y/a's but that is something I can never forgive or get out of my mind. I felt as a child I was living in the jungle, these animals were attacking night and day without cease and that's what it felt like. My sister never had a single friend and I didn't either even when we attended H.S. we were out-cast even amoung the nearly black administration. We were forced to celebrate black history...inside I wanted to scream about MY black history..the history I experienced! I hated to learn about black inventions...with a little study I found out those were lie's and extremem exaggerations. I learned to hate Martin Luther King...he never marched for us, he never gave a speech about our plight. We had no naacp, we had no civil rights, we only heard THEIR view point, THEIR victim stories....never ours.
I could go on but you might get a flavor of my experience and feelings!
I know how I feel is wrong, I know this is the burden I carry. I can intellectually see that not ALL black people are evil or racist BUT I do know that I won't live anywhere around black people. My son goes to an ALL white school who's principle is black believe it or not.
I have never spoken out about my feelings or what I have gone through, in this country it is not PC do talk about this or to tell of our experiences. My sister to this day, some 25 years later never speaks of her feelings and what we went through back in Avondale, Ohio. The scares are so deep...but we both have the same feelings about black people.
I know how I feel is ugly and wrong......how do I rid myself of this cancer?
Why do I have these feelings:
To make a long story short I was raised in a black neighborhood and went to a nearly all black school from 3rd grade to graduation. I won't go into every detail because that takes away from the point of my question (my racism) but I will say this. Myself, sister & mother were tormented beyond belief. My sister was beaten many times by black girls for committing the crime of being pretty, blonde hair, blue eyed. At one point she was jumped by 6 black girls in the bathroom and beaten so severly she was hospitalized for 10 days...she was in 4th grade. The school did nothing out of fear of causing a "racial problem" , the beateings happened numerous times. I was also beaten and chased and mocked, laughed at and was always held accountable for slavery, even though my mothers family faught on the north's side and my father's family didn't arrive until 1908. I won't go into the details of what happened to my mother here on y/a's but that is something I can never forgive or get out of my mind. I felt as a child I was living in the jungle, these animals were attacking night and day without cease and that's what it felt like. My sister never had a single friend and I didn't either even when we attended H.S. we were out-cast even amoung the nearly black administration. We were forced to celebrate black history...inside I wanted to scream about MY black history..the history I experienced! I hated to learn about black inventions...with a little study I found out those were lie's and extremem exaggerations. I learned to hate Martin Luther King...he never marched for us, he never gave a speech about our plight. We had no naacp, we had no civil rights, we only heard THEIR view point, THEIR victim stories....never ours.
I could go on but you might get a flavor of my experience and feelings!
I know how I feel is wrong, I know this is the burden I carry. I can intellectually see that not ALL black people are evil or racist BUT I do know that I won't live anywhere around black people. My son goes to an ALL white school who's principle is black believe it or not.
I have never spoken out about my feelings or what I have gone through, in this country it is not PC do talk about this or to tell of our experiences. My sister to this day, some 25 years later never speaks of her feelings and what we went through back in Avondale, Ohio. The scares are so deep...but we both have the same feelings about black people.
I know how I feel is ugly and wrong......how do I rid myself of this cancer?