StargazerLily07
New member
...and quit controlling my wedding? HELP ME!! My Aunt and my Grandmother are trying to take over my wedding!
To start things off, my Aunt weaseled her way into dress shopping with my mom and I. Then, she got bored and sick of shopping so she just went ahead and paid for the last dress that I was wearing and the headpiece! Luckily, it was THE dress. The headpiece I am not so sure about. But silly me, I thought by her paying for it, it was a gift (considering it was $300!). About 4 days later, she reposessed my dress because I hadn't paid her back for it yet! [I did finally get my wedding dress back.]
Also, she went behind my back and set up a dinner party that includes my aunt, her husband, my grandmother and grandfather, my mom, my in-laws, myself and my fiance, to discuss the finances! The wedding is being covered by my mother, my fiance and myself, and no one else! I'm quite concerned about this dinner, because my grandmother has never met my in laws, but she seems to hate them already and is very ignorant and rude whenever she speaks about them. My aunt has met them before, and she has always been rude to them! Also, my brother told me he overheard them saying that they're going to "turn up the heat" on us, and that we're "are going to get what's coming to [us]." We haven't done anything to them, we just wan't to plan our own wedding!
Also, my grandmother wants to make my wedding cake, but she's 75 years old and can't make them like she used to, and also she refuses to make a layered cake for me, she wants to have the layers on seperate pedistals, which I hate! When I said I would just buy a cake she freaked out and started screaming at me about it!
On top of it all, I get at least 10 or more phone calls PER DAY from these women screaming at me about Invitations, the Cake, Showers, Gift Registries, Engagement Photos, Wedding Photos, etc. Every single detail they are trying to control!
My Aunt wanted to do my Engagement photos and my Wedding photos, which is fine, but my soon to be sister in law and her husband also wanted to do a set of Engagement photos, seeing as how they actually know me and my fiance and our taste as we hang out a lot, and my aunt doesn't! I barely know her and I try to spend as little time as possible with her due to her overwhelmingly strong personality. My aunt completely freaked out about the second set of engagement photos and yelled at me about it! She said she wouldn't do the engagement photos if they were going to take any pictures of us, and that if she saw them bring out a camera at my wedding she would put hers away! I don't understand why nobody but her is allowed to take pictures of my wedding, and I don't know how to talk to her without her shouting me down. The same goes for my grandmother.
So, PLEASE! How do I politely, or even just effectively tell my overbearing family that this is MY wedding, that I am going to have things MY way, and that they need to mind their own business?
I can't deal with them anymore. Any suggestions would be helpful at this point!
[Just to clear up the Engagement Photo thing - I wanted to have 2 sets of Engagement photos, so I would have a variety to choose from, dressed up and traditional, and dressed down, young, and fun, in the woods, riding 4 wheelers, going fishing, skeet shooting, by a waterfall.. all sorts of out doorsy stuff that we LOVE... I don't see how that is a problem.. do any of you??]
Thanks in advance
- Frusterated Bride to Be!
My aunt is a professional photographer, as are my sister-in-law to be and her husband.
Thanks all, I appreciate your input!
Also, we are working on a very tight budget, which is why they offered to do it for free.
& I tried explaining to my grandmother that I didnt want her to be too exhausted to enjoy the wedding and she went off her nut anyways. So I'm not exactly sure how to approach that one without her saying she's dying and the last thing she wanted to do was to make me my wedding cake! (She's like that.)
But thank you very much for the input! <3
To start things off, my Aunt weaseled her way into dress shopping with my mom and I. Then, she got bored and sick of shopping so she just went ahead and paid for the last dress that I was wearing and the headpiece! Luckily, it was THE dress. The headpiece I am not so sure about. But silly me, I thought by her paying for it, it was a gift (considering it was $300!). About 4 days later, she reposessed my dress because I hadn't paid her back for it yet! [I did finally get my wedding dress back.]
Also, she went behind my back and set up a dinner party that includes my aunt, her husband, my grandmother and grandfather, my mom, my in-laws, myself and my fiance, to discuss the finances! The wedding is being covered by my mother, my fiance and myself, and no one else! I'm quite concerned about this dinner, because my grandmother has never met my in laws, but she seems to hate them already and is very ignorant and rude whenever she speaks about them. My aunt has met them before, and she has always been rude to them! Also, my brother told me he overheard them saying that they're going to "turn up the heat" on us, and that we're "are going to get what's coming to [us]." We haven't done anything to them, we just wan't to plan our own wedding!
Also, my grandmother wants to make my wedding cake, but she's 75 years old and can't make them like she used to, and also she refuses to make a layered cake for me, she wants to have the layers on seperate pedistals, which I hate! When I said I would just buy a cake she freaked out and started screaming at me about it!
On top of it all, I get at least 10 or more phone calls PER DAY from these women screaming at me about Invitations, the Cake, Showers, Gift Registries, Engagement Photos, Wedding Photos, etc. Every single detail they are trying to control!
My Aunt wanted to do my Engagement photos and my Wedding photos, which is fine, but my soon to be sister in law and her husband also wanted to do a set of Engagement photos, seeing as how they actually know me and my fiance and our taste as we hang out a lot, and my aunt doesn't! I barely know her and I try to spend as little time as possible with her due to her overwhelmingly strong personality. My aunt completely freaked out about the second set of engagement photos and yelled at me about it! She said she wouldn't do the engagement photos if they were going to take any pictures of us, and that if she saw them bring out a camera at my wedding she would put hers away! I don't understand why nobody but her is allowed to take pictures of my wedding, and I don't know how to talk to her without her shouting me down. The same goes for my grandmother.
So, PLEASE! How do I politely, or even just effectively tell my overbearing family that this is MY wedding, that I am going to have things MY way, and that they need to mind their own business?
I can't deal with them anymore. Any suggestions would be helpful at this point!
[Just to clear up the Engagement Photo thing - I wanted to have 2 sets of Engagement photos, so I would have a variety to choose from, dressed up and traditional, and dressed down, young, and fun, in the woods, riding 4 wheelers, going fishing, skeet shooting, by a waterfall.. all sorts of out doorsy stuff that we LOVE... I don't see how that is a problem.. do any of you??]
Thanks in advance
- Frusterated Bride to Be!
My aunt is a professional photographer, as are my sister-in-law to be and her husband.
Thanks all, I appreciate your input!
Also, we are working on a very tight budget, which is why they offered to do it for free.
& I tried explaining to my grandmother that I didnt want her to be too exhausted to enjoy the wedding and she went off her nut anyways. So I'm not exactly sure how to approach that one without her saying she's dying and the last thing she wanted to do was to make me my wedding cake! (She's like that.)
But thank you very much for the input! <3