How do I handle friends who are judging about the way I approach relationships?

[Lovinlife]

I am 22 years old and a recent college graduate. I've been in a limbo stage for about a year with an ex boyfriend. We still talk a lot and spend time together, but we're not officially together. I'm not sure if we ever will be again, but I don't know that 100%. Every time I talk to one of my close girlfriends she always asks about him. She doesn't like him, and then she tells all of my friends about how I talk to him. I feel like they all sit around and go on and on about how ridiculous it is. Especially since they are all engaged. I just feel like it's not any of their business how I live my life. I always feel like I have to answer to her in if I talked to him, if I went to dinner with him, etc. She also makes me feel bad for talking to him, and it's a waste of time. She always asks me about it like something dramatic will have changed I'm 100% over him. Maybe my friends are right in the fact that he's not right for me and never will be, but that's something I have to figure out for myself. It really bothers me how judging they are of the situation because they aren't the ones in it. The only thing they know about him is what I've told them when I've been frustrated with him. It's besides the point that maybe he's not right for me. It just bothers me that they don't respect the way that I live my life and they feel like they have a say in the way I approach my life. I have told them that before, and they say they don't think it's healthy I am defending him, which I'm not necessarily, it's more myself. I'll feel like I'm getting over him, and then someone will ask about him and tell me what a terrible person he is, and it pushes me right back to him. Even if we're not right for each other he was a part of my life and he might be again, and so I will defend him. How do I handle this situation without being mean to my friends? I hate it that they all sit around and gossip about it, like he's a terrible abuser and I'm just wasting my time. I don't think it's their business as far as how I approach relationships, and I don't tell them how terrible their's are. It's like I talk to my friend and I hope she doesn't ask about it, and then she always does. It's almost like she enjoys feeling like I still talk to him and then she go on and on to everyone else about what a terrible person he is. I don't know-I just don't like being talked about really. I wish people would mind their own business. Suggestions?