how do I handle Christams at the in laws (who hate me)?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Groovy Chik
  • Start date Start date
G

Groovy Chik

Guest
My husbands family and I hate each other. His parents pretend but his brother and his wife don't speak to me. This stems from the fact that they cannot handle anyone who has an opinion. I do not have a big mouth and instist everyone agree with me but I do beleive everyone is entitled to their own opinion and we don't all have to agree but we have to be respectful. They are ALL bullies and I guess nobody has ever really stood up to them. But I have and they treat me like dirt for it. For example, NONE of them spoke to me at our wedding and the 4 of them and 3 from my family were the only guests! Also, when we found out I was pregnant a few years ago the brother and wife cried. NOT happy tears apparently, but because they cannot have kids and they were sad that we were. I get that they'd be a little sad but come on.... I wasn't there when this happened but I'm told they got over it and offered my husband a thousand congrats. They did not say one word about it to me. I never got a congrats or anything. Last spring my husband and I were having problems and they jumped on it as an opporutunity not to help out but to try to turn him against me and started trying to spread lies about me. I put up with them only for his and my sons sake. Thankfully we don't see them often.... BUT the holidays are here and my husband has always refused in not so many words to stand up for me. They ignore me and when they are not ignoring me they are being so rude and disrespectful I'm in shock that "civilized" people act this way. My husband is an avoider and the only reason I agreed to go for Christmas is for my sons sake. I do not want him there without me because they are horrible influences and I don't feel comfortable him being there without me. My husband would not stand up to them. I know most would say "your husband should be a man and stand up for his family" but he won't or can't do it. He doesn't want the conflict but I guess he doesn't take into account how this affects me...

What can I do to handle this? I'm sure I'm just going to have to grin and bear it but perhaps somebody will have a new idea. I've been told in the past that I should act so sugary nice to them that they'd be thrown off but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. Though I'd love to. It would make them look like bigger fools.

thanks!
Keep it Real... way off base. I'm so not the alpha. My husband never seems to have a problem standing up to me.... I'm really not that oppinionated but I do believe in respect for everyone unless you are disrespectful of others. I've been soooo accomidating to these people it's unreal. and i've always gotten kicked in the teeth for it (so to speak)
 
you need to discuss that with your husband.They can not be christians because Christ's love would not allow that.This will lead to serious problems for the two of you if you can not get away from them.
 
If I where you and you seem very Oppionated and some people with beliefs and are sencative too others who can be Critical and strongly oppionated tend too move away from them! I would be less confrontational and simply be there more on a Supportive way for your HUsband! In other words, Too keep the Peace and too make this as tolerable as possible think of your Inlaws as Glass wear or China! Be careful but not rude and talk but never say it in such away with an oppinion or passionate Statement! This will make it easier for you and for them. as far as your HUsband this is Blood and Blood does affect things in a diffrent way! He maybe Passive and he sounds very Passive even around you! Your the Alpha in this realationship and this is why they have a hard toime accepting you in this roll. Remeber your son comes first and so does your husband too. be as understanding as possible!
 
Back
Top