how do i get things back to the way they were?

[Kennedy J]

ok so very long story but idk wat to do...so i have a guy that is my best friend. well after a few months he told me he liked me but felt bad cuz he has a gf. well our freshmen year we dated for a total of 3 hours and when i came to my senses 3 days later and told him i was stupid for letting him go he already had a gf the one he is with now. well after he told me he still liked me i told him i liked him to. well one night i had a movie night with some friends and well after eveyone left he kissed me. then he started coming over to my house more to hang out and we made out. well i feel like the devil for helping him cheat but the only reason was cuz his gf was being horrible and almost left him for another guy so i helped him feel better. then he decided to tell his gf about us. thats when we went down hill. after a while i asked him why things changed and he said it had to stop cuz he was falling for me. he said he didnt tell me cuz he was going to leave his gf for me so we could countinue with out the guilt. after a while i told him he needed to choose between us cuz i was tired of being the other girl waiting. he told me he chose her but then asked for 2 wks to think about it. so i tried to win him over then he said he chose her again so i flipped cuz over the 2 wks he conviced me he was choosing me. i told him i wanted nothing to do with him and a bunch of other crap i didnt mean. he was ok with it and just smiled. we were best friends and now we are hardly friends and he is making it seem like its my fault even tho i took back wat i said even tho he deserved it for wat he did to me. idk wat to do cuz i told him i was over him so we could at least be friends...but im in love with him...i feel stupid for feeling this way but i cant help it and i want him back the guy i was best friends with...any advice cuz i really need it.