My husband and I are nearly $10,000 in debt. Due to job loss, we have been living with my parents for over a year. I was raised to believe that you don't spend money you don't have. My husband was raised by a compulsive gambler and believes that the money will always be there when you need it, even after this past year that has proved otherwise! For the most part, we have been able to pay our bills, but recently have had to borrow more and more money from my parents. Thanks to a new job, we should actually be able to pay our bills and possibly even get ahead. However, as an example, last week I had to borrow $60.00 from my parents to pay a bill. Two days later, my husband got an advance at work so he could buy a dvd player. He disagrees with me that advances are like credit- you're spending money that isn't yours yet. I am frustrated and angry and don't know how to discuss budgeting with him. I am tired of mooching off my parents while he blows money. I don't want to be a money nanny to my husband, but it's hard not to worry when the debt we are in is from him buying things we didn't need and not paying more than the minimum payment because he wanted to buy something else. I wouldn't mind him having an "allowance" each month that he can spend on whatever he wants, as long as he understands that once its' gone, its' gone. But I don't know how to express that to him without him feeling like I am lecturing him or trying to control the money.
I guess I thought it was implied, but I recognize that I have a problem with my marriage. If I didn't recognize that there was a problem, I wouldn't have come on and asked how to talk to my husband. I recognize the problem and I want to fix it and help my marriage. I love my husband very much. He is a very good man with a problem. I am a good person who has problems as well and am grateful that my husband would want to work through those problems rather than just pushing me aside because I'm not perfect. I would really appreciate some constructive advice on how to approach my husband on a topic that probably 9 out of 10 very happily married couples deal with. Thank you.
I guess I thought it was implied, but I recognize that I have a problem with my marriage. If I didn't recognize that there was a problem, I wouldn't have come on and asked how to talk to my husband. I recognize the problem and I want to fix it and help my marriage. I love my husband very much. He is a very good man with a problem. I am a good person who has problems as well and am grateful that my husband would want to work through those problems rather than just pushing me aside because I'm not perfect. I would really appreciate some constructive advice on how to approach my husband on a topic that probably 9 out of 10 very happily married couples deal with. Thank you.