How do I boost my self esteem?

Mother Russia

New member
I'm nineteen years old, and here's how I spend every college night.

I'm locked in my dorm room by myself on the computer, watching college basketball, and drinking. It's such a depressing lifestyle. I would consider myself a nice kid. I'm a little shy but I can open up if you give me a chance. I'm also fairly decent looking. I'm not overweight, and some girls have given me a little notice...well...that's only when they're drunk or they give me a little attention until they just leave me for no explainable reason.

I kind of try to make small talk, but whenever I try to ask someone to go to eat, I get shut down or they come up with some bullshit excuse. It takes a toll after awhile, and I feel like a piece of shit most of the time. I'm also afraid of girls for some reason and I don't know how to meet them unless I'm drunk. I somehow went to prom, don't ask me how I did it. Sometimes I don't know. The guys in college say I have a lot of lady potential, but social rejection just kills me.

I wouldn't say I'm too depressed because I'm happy during the day when I have work to do and I'm usually by myself at that time. You can only do so many things by yourself though. I feel kind of lonely.

How do I build myself up after I've been belittled so much throughout my life?

I'm thinking of going to get therapy again.
 
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