How can my story be better?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Madison Renee
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Madison Renee

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Chapter 1
Burn

WHY WAS I HERE?

My heart was pounding so fast that I couldn’t breathe. Everything after this was going to be shattered. My life will be broken up, I won’t be the same.
The man in front of me will do that to me. He will take everything away. He will take it and replace it with something evil. I knew that. I could feel it.
But why exactly is he here? I asked myself, Why does he want me? Answers to my question filled my head. Slow tears dripped from my eyes.
I didn’t have the slightest clue to what really was going to happen. Everything I thought would happen would be nothing compared to what lies ahead. I thought I was going to die, but I was way off.
His piercing red eyes stung me. Why did it have to come to this? All I was doing was leaving the after-party. I happened to come down this street, this dark street. No cars or people coming down it, just him and me.

Very beginning! How do you like it? BTW it is about vampires.
 
Wow, you seem like an awesome writer.
But honestly, if I were you, I would ditch the plot about vampires. That concept is now extremely popular, and although fans of books like Twilight would happily flock to your story if published, the entire idea of girl-meets-vampiric-guy has become cliche and a bit unoriginal.
 
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