How can I improve this thesis for my essay on Shakespeare's "Romeo & Juliet?"?

DentWell

New member
My essay is about how Romeo is the cause of the death's of himself and Juliet, and how his two character traits of being "lovesick" and "naive" lead to the deaths of both himself and Juliet. Please criticize it and tell me how it could be improved and be better.

"In Shakespeare's romantic drama "Romeo and Juliet," there are several characters who are arguably the culprit of Romeo and Juliet's death, but Romeo is the true cause of these two tragedies due to his naive and lovesick mindset."
 
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