Here is my story for a competition, Please help me improve it.
its about sportsmanship etc. please help!
An Unselfish Act
The day of July 17th, the day that could have changed my life forever. The weather was warm and sunny, perfect for the finals of the state soccer championship. I woke up with shivers all over me, wondering whether we have a shot of winning.
I heard my mom calling for me downstairs; I quickly got changed and went down. I saw my whole family getting ready for my very first final game. My parents dressed up in my team’s jersey with face paint all over them, and my sister got into her favourite cheerleading outfit. They were even more excited than I was, I was glad that no matter what happens, my family will be there for me.
Throughout the short trip, my sister and my mother practised their chant. While my dad and I were trying to listen to some rap, even though how much my dad hated rap, he knew how much it meant to me, how it sets me in the mood of playing and how it gets me ready for a game.
Half way through Avalon Ave, my heart pumped faster than ever. I relaxed and closed my eyes. I pictured my team playing, we passed and passed, tackles being made, shots taken from close and far but no one had broken the tie score yet. I fell deeper into my dream when my dad poked me, he told me to loosen up, but I couldn’t because If I score two goals or more, I would have a chance to join the national team. The parking lot was packed and crowded; every inch of parking space was covered by cars and bikes. Luckily, we found a space beside the kiosk.
As I got out of the car, I spotted my coach, I told my parents I’m leaving and waved them goodbye. My coach brought us into the stadium, the arena was massive, every corner was covered with fans and families. It was surrounded by big speakers in each bend, loud music and chants blared into our ears.
We all went into the changing rooms to prepare. We heard the announcer and we marched out onto the field with pride and dignity. After the national anthem was played, we ran towards our positions, the enthusiasm in me made me shiver with anticipation.
The opposite team started the first half; they passed the ball around and had a few shots but were saved by our goalkeeper. It was our turn to counter-attack, passes were made and I took a shot, as it curled into the top right corner, the goalkeeper stopped it. The referee blew the whistle and it was half time, the score was still tied. 45 minutes into the game, and we were all worn out.
Second half began; passes and lobs were built, but were shortly demolished by the defenders. Tackles were continually acted, while injuries were constantly created. There were twenty minutes left in the game. The opponents pressured us into a tough position; they had some great ball movements and some beautiful one twos. They took a short from long range; it was going good when one of our defenders had his hand to it. The referee called it a penalty. They scored. The crowd went wild. Our hopes were slowly melting away. We swiftly got the ball back and started. We tried and tried but we barely made it through their defence line. Our goalkeeper spotted Nick up field; he kicked the ball as far as he could, the ball went directly to Nick, he passed the defender with a flick, the other defenders gave up running after him, the ball was high in the air, he finished the shot with an acrobatic kick. GOAL! The commentators shouted. The atmosphere heated up, we had levelled. I glanced up on the scoreboard; there were only 5 minutes to go. They kicked the ball in their territory. I ran towards the ball back and forth, hoping to snatch the ball away. They lost possession and it was our turn to attack, we got the ball around midfield and we started some one touches. We passed their defence line and it was just Nick and I. I was right in front of goal, with only the goalkeeper to beat; all I had to do was pass it in the back of the net. This goal would have been my first goal for the club. Instead, I passed it back to Nick to finish off his two goal deal. I knew how important the national team scholarship was to him and his family. Both the crowd and the commentators were confused on what I did; they realized I sacrificed my first club goal for my friend so he can head off to the national team. I realized this is the meaning of sportsmanship and teamwork.
its about sportsmanship etc. please help!
An Unselfish Act
The day of July 17th, the day that could have changed my life forever. The weather was warm and sunny, perfect for the finals of the state soccer championship. I woke up with shivers all over me, wondering whether we have a shot of winning.
I heard my mom calling for me downstairs; I quickly got changed and went down. I saw my whole family getting ready for my very first final game. My parents dressed up in my team’s jersey with face paint all over them, and my sister got into her favourite cheerleading outfit. They were even more excited than I was, I was glad that no matter what happens, my family will be there for me.
Throughout the short trip, my sister and my mother practised their chant. While my dad and I were trying to listen to some rap, even though how much my dad hated rap, he knew how much it meant to me, how it sets me in the mood of playing and how it gets me ready for a game.
Half way through Avalon Ave, my heart pumped faster than ever. I relaxed and closed my eyes. I pictured my team playing, we passed and passed, tackles being made, shots taken from close and far but no one had broken the tie score yet. I fell deeper into my dream when my dad poked me, he told me to loosen up, but I couldn’t because If I score two goals or more, I would have a chance to join the national team. The parking lot was packed and crowded; every inch of parking space was covered by cars and bikes. Luckily, we found a space beside the kiosk.
As I got out of the car, I spotted my coach, I told my parents I’m leaving and waved them goodbye. My coach brought us into the stadium, the arena was massive, every corner was covered with fans and families. It was surrounded by big speakers in each bend, loud music and chants blared into our ears.
We all went into the changing rooms to prepare. We heard the announcer and we marched out onto the field with pride and dignity. After the national anthem was played, we ran towards our positions, the enthusiasm in me made me shiver with anticipation.
The opposite team started the first half; they passed the ball around and had a few shots but were saved by our goalkeeper. It was our turn to counter-attack, passes were made and I took a shot, as it curled into the top right corner, the goalkeeper stopped it. The referee blew the whistle and it was half time, the score was still tied. 45 minutes into the game, and we were all worn out.
Second half began; passes and lobs were built, but were shortly demolished by the defenders. Tackles were continually acted, while injuries were constantly created. There were twenty minutes left in the game. The opponents pressured us into a tough position; they had some great ball movements and some beautiful one twos. They took a short from long range; it was going good when one of our defenders had his hand to it. The referee called it a penalty. They scored. The crowd went wild. Our hopes were slowly melting away. We swiftly got the ball back and started. We tried and tried but we barely made it through their defence line. Our goalkeeper spotted Nick up field; he kicked the ball as far as he could, the ball went directly to Nick, he passed the defender with a flick, the other defenders gave up running after him, the ball was high in the air, he finished the shot with an acrobatic kick. GOAL! The commentators shouted. The atmosphere heated up, we had levelled. I glanced up on the scoreboard; there were only 5 minutes to go. They kicked the ball in their territory. I ran towards the ball back and forth, hoping to snatch the ball away. They lost possession and it was our turn to attack, we got the ball around midfield and we started some one touches. We passed their defence line and it was just Nick and I. I was right in front of goal, with only the goalkeeper to beat; all I had to do was pass it in the back of the net. This goal would have been my first goal for the club. Instead, I passed it back to Nick to finish off his two goal deal. I knew how important the national team scholarship was to him and his family. Both the crowd and the commentators were confused on what I did; they realized I sacrificed my first club goal for my friend so he can head off to the national team. I realized this is the meaning of sportsmanship and teamwork.