breannanicole9630
New member
you said you would never leave me out in the cold,
never leave me with nothing to hold.
but how can you lie to me that?
don't yell at me, it's a simple fact.
i remember where we used to stand,
watching the sunset, hand in hand.
looking into each others eyes
feeling like all we could do is rise
rise and rise, no that's the lie.
that was where we started to fall,
there was nothing left, nothing at all.
it left both of us feeling small.
now tears run down my face,
leaving me in this lonely place.
i remember that pain filled love,
that wasn't planned for us above.
but i still love standing where we used to stand,
pretending your still holding my hand,
imagining your still there,
feeling like i'm floating on air.
watching the sunset,
but there's something i don't know yet,
why is it that i don't hate you,
please god all i need is a clue,
to why i still can't live without you.
++++++++++++++
ok so how can improve this poem, i haven't written something in a long time so this isn't the best. to me the ending sounds weird, any idea on how i can fix that! thanks ahead of time
never leave me with nothing to hold.
but how can you lie to me that?
don't yell at me, it's a simple fact.
i remember where we used to stand,
watching the sunset, hand in hand.
looking into each others eyes
feeling like all we could do is rise
rise and rise, no that's the lie.
that was where we started to fall,
there was nothing left, nothing at all.
it left both of us feeling small.
now tears run down my face,
leaving me in this lonely place.
i remember that pain filled love,
that wasn't planned for us above.
but i still love standing where we used to stand,
pretending your still holding my hand,
imagining your still there,
feeling like i'm floating on air.
watching the sunset,
but there's something i don't know yet,
why is it that i don't hate you,
please god all i need is a clue,
to why i still can't live without you.
++++++++++++++
ok so how can improve this poem, i haven't written something in a long time so this isn't the best. to me the ending sounds weird, any idea on how i can fix that! thanks ahead of time