How can I improve my poem? I'm awful at poetry!?

C

classmate

New member
Give yourself a break. OK, this piece isn't going to get published in some leading poetry journal, but it's perfectly respectable as a poem for a school assignment. You won't appear the least bit foolish when you present this in class.
 
Well, I was told to write a poem for my English class about jealousy. The only problem is that I can't write poetry. At all. Nada.
I was wondering if anybody could give any suggestions about how to improve it, therefore not making a fool of myself when I have to read it to the class.

Right. Here goes.

It wants what they've got,
This cockroach in my gut,
Wrenching at my heart and lungs,
Poisoning my thoughts.
I can't breathe,
I can't think.
This bug won't rest until I have
everything they have.
This parasite won't die until I am
everything they are.

Help!?
 
Give yourself a break. OK, this piece isn't going to get published in some leading poetry journal, but it's perfectly respectable as a poem for a school assignment. You won't appear the least bit foolish when you present this in class.
 
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