how can i control my frequent mood swings? please, please help me.?

i just keep breaking my boyfriends heart and im so exhausted from it
and he keeps loving me so much
and im so tired of these frequent mood swings
because I love him and im tired of hurting myself and him.
I frequently think of hurting myself and sometimes I do.
sometimes i smoke to heal myself.

i obsess over little imperfections
 
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