i realised at the age of 5 that i was gay. Im also a devout Muslim and in our religion people get killed for being gay. I made up my mind around the age of 10 that i would never tell anyone about my problem ever-not even my close friends and god forbid not my family. I know exactly how my parents would react and i just dont want to go there.
It was easy when i was little to just forget about being gay but growing up and going through high school and now college i just cant cope with being in denial. I have really tried so hard at distracting myself but i know its just not possible.
i was a straight A student in college my first year and second years. but during my third year i became seriously depressed and now im on 5 different medications. i cant even tell my own doctor that im gay because i fear that he will probably stop giving me medications and make me see a therapist. the medications have helped get rid of my sexual drive but i know that its just masking my denial and symptoms. My grades have dropped so badly and my parents are now worried too. i just wish they knew what i was going through and how much effort im trying to make to change who i am and hopefully become straight. but it hasnt worked for 16 years so what hope is there that i will suddenly become straight?
It was easy when i was little to just forget about being gay but growing up and going through high school and now college i just cant cope with being in denial. I have really tried so hard at distracting myself but i know its just not possible.
i was a straight A student in college my first year and second years. but during my third year i became seriously depressed and now im on 5 different medications. i cant even tell my own doctor that im gay because i fear that he will probably stop giving me medications and make me see a therapist. the medications have helped get rid of my sexual drive but i know that its just masking my denial and symptoms. My grades have dropped so badly and my parents are now worried too. i just wish they knew what i was going through and how much effort im trying to make to change who i am and hopefully become straight. but it hasnt worked for 16 years so what hope is there that i will suddenly become straight?