How can i change these personality traits?

[# HANNAH. ?]

I basically find it really hard to express my full emotions e.g, if im angry i might not show it... I also find it hard to be impulsive and do what my instincts say, and i usually dont act how i should in a situation because im too hesitant... i usually have something done to me, then i think for about 4 minutes about what i should do ,because i have to 'weigh everything up on the scales'... and usually by the time i come to the decision, the chance to react has gone... i usually don't like to break the vibes of other people e.g. if im angry but everyone else is happy i wont show my anger because i dont want to ruin the mood - also i dont always act because i think, what if i embaress myselfanother thing which may be one of the causes for this is the fact that i have been forced to repress almost all negative emotions because my school excludes some one just for the littlest fightalso im like this around 70% but around 30% of the time i can sometimes just let myself go and do whatever i want I know this isn't a part of psychology but my moon sign is Libra so that may explain the part where i try weigh each side upbut basically i want to be impulsive, i want to be able to express all my emotions as they come rather than bottle them up, i want to stop being hesitant and just act straight away rather than sit there thinkingand i also want to impose my will rather than care about ruining someone elses mood at the expense of my happiness...and i want to stop caring so much about if i fail and lose ive had this problem for a loong time. im 15 and ive had this problem since ive been in primary school... except in primary school i could just let myself go when i got mad because its easier when your a child cos theres less consequences.but when i went into secondary school i lost that impulsive anger... and ive been like that for around 4 years but now that im fifteen, ive been seeing some progress over the matter of about a year, and now i can express my feelings but like i said, this is around 30-40% of the time, but id like it to be 100%... i thought id include the history because, it shows that my problem was their in primary school, got worse in secondary school, but now its getting better, but i still havent regained that impulsive anger

 

[#1 AJ]

Well repressing emotions is not healthy, but getting angry so much of the time is not good either. You can't just strike out, either physically or verbally.You have the right if someone is rude to you etc. to speak up and defend yourself. But there is a wrong way and right way to do this. You don't want to start a fight. Just say "I don't agree with you (and proceed to say why) or state: Why did you feel you had to say, act like that towards me?" Nothing wrong with asking why you were treated unfairly, but just blowing up with total disregard will just exacerbate the situation and when you get out into the world, you need to get along in the workplace, in relationships etc.Some repression is a good thing. Work it out in other ways. Write your feelings down, exercise hard. Write a letter to the person describing how you feel, how mad you are etc and then throw it away.If you find yourself constantly (well, a good part of the time), angry, perhaps you should seek counseling or read a book on anger management (which really have good tips on how to handle situations where you feel you were abused).<---this I really suggest, as I said it helps you handle all sorts of situations and done properly you don't feel as tho' you repressed your feelings. Good luck.No one wants "impulsive anger" as that is anger without control.

 

[!Slayer_Rules!!]

Give them to God. Dwelling on them just perpetuates them.They aren't who you really are and you know that. Anticipate the new day.

 

[!!Jack!!]

It sounds to me like your just not completely comfortable with who you are yet. And that is perfectly natural. If you were, that would mean that you weren't open to learning new things towards who you want to be as a person. And at 15 you still have many life lesson's coming your way before you get there. I think the ratio you stated sounds great. And you should be very proud of yourself for accepting and acknowledging this. Remember losing at your age is just actually learning valuable lessons that will help you later. Personally Ive learned that just getting out and doing something, even if I lose, is better then doing nothing. And sometimes holding back obvious statements that would be hurt-full to someone else just means you are a better person for it. People are always nicer and more caring to the giver's then to the taker's. They are also more respected and looked up to. ( I should write this down so I can say it to my son when he gets older lol). You sound like a great kid to me ! Keep weighing things out. That's a great approach.