My Mil has chosen our middle child Tina as her personal favorite grandchild, although she won't admit it, everyone in both our families talks about it. So we are not paranoid. We have dealt w/ this for several years and try our best to ignore her behavior and to make sure our other children are involved whenever they go anywhere with Granny. Lately we have been having some behavior problems with Tina in the home and at school. Nothing crazy, just notes sent home from school that she is talking back, at home its the same thing and she is constantly hitting her siblings or picking on them. Nothing extremely bad, but something we don't want to get worse. So we have been grounding Tina and taking things away.
What really chaps our a$$es is the fact that the mother-in-law sails in. "Where's Tina?" she says (not even bothering to acknowledge the other 2 children.)
"Well, says my husband, she did so and so at school and we have sent her to her room w/ no TV for the day."
The mil gives him the look and goes back to the bedroom where Tina is and proceeds to spend her entire visit in the bedroom with Tina locking the door so the other children can't come in. She finally comes out and demands to know why he (my husband) is always grounding Tina and why is Tina always in trouble?
By that time we are both chewing our lips, but with the way his family fights and argues we don't want to start a family war. My husband calmly tells her that Tina will be punished everytime she does such and such. My mil shuts her mouth but is furious when she leaves. This has happened many times!
This woman has went as far as to tell me that I should not tell my husband when Tina misbehaves at school so that she will not get into trouble with her father. I am usually pretty quiet and I stand in the background so I am not sure what to say w/ out starting open war. (My husbands family is all about some drama.)
And how to let her know that it's not just my husband who is punishing Tina, I am also a parent in our house and I know from first hand experience that her behavior if not nipped in the bud could get much worse?
Any suggestions on how to deal with this overly protective meddling mother-in-law w/ out causes an uproar?
She makes me so mad I could toss her out on her a$$ but the kids love her. Just not sure how to handle the situation w/ out causing a rift.
What really chaps our a$$es is the fact that the mother-in-law sails in. "Where's Tina?" she says (not even bothering to acknowledge the other 2 children.)
"Well, says my husband, she did so and so at school and we have sent her to her room w/ no TV for the day."
The mil gives him the look and goes back to the bedroom where Tina is and proceeds to spend her entire visit in the bedroom with Tina locking the door so the other children can't come in. She finally comes out and demands to know why he (my husband) is always grounding Tina and why is Tina always in trouble?
By that time we are both chewing our lips, but with the way his family fights and argues we don't want to start a family war. My husband calmly tells her that Tina will be punished everytime she does such and such. My mil shuts her mouth but is furious when she leaves. This has happened many times!
This woman has went as far as to tell me that I should not tell my husband when Tina misbehaves at school so that she will not get into trouble with her father. I am usually pretty quiet and I stand in the background so I am not sure what to say w/ out starting open war. (My husbands family is all about some drama.)
And how to let her know that it's not just my husband who is punishing Tina, I am also a parent in our house and I know from first hand experience that her behavior if not nipped in the bud could get much worse?
Any suggestions on how to deal with this overly protective meddling mother-in-law w/ out causes an uproar?
She makes me so mad I could toss her out on her a$$ but the kids love her. Just not sure how to handle the situation w/ out causing a rift.