Tell me what sense this makes:
Please wait while we find an agent to assist you...
You have been connected to Merwin T.
Merwin T: Pleased to meet you here online, Kyle! Thank you for contacting T-Mobile chat. My name is Merwin and I will be assisting you today. Please hold while I review your concern.
Kyle D: Ok, thank you.
Merwin T: Thank you for holding.
Kyle D: No problem
Merwin T: I understand that you would like to know if you can change your account and have the Unlimited Loyalty rate plan. Is that correct?
Kyle D: Correct.
Merwin T: Thank you for that confirmation.
Merwin T: Kyle, can I put you on hold for a moment to further check this for you?
Kyle D: Sure
Merwin T: Thank you1
Merwin T: Thank you*
Merwin T: Thank you for waiting. I regret to inform that your account is not eligible for these rate plans.
Kyle D: And the reason being is because I'm on a smart access plan...which is supposed to be a non-contract plan right?
Merwin T: I have checked your account and your contract already expired on April 2, 2009.
Merwin T: You are now eligible for a full discount handset upgrade.
Kyle D: So it is a contract plan...and it will expire on April 2, 2009. The criteria for this "Unlimited Loyalty" plan is that I have to have had a regular account for two years right?
Merwin T: T-Mobile at times will offer targeted promotions to select customers. This particular offer is available to customers who have been with T-Mobile for at least 22 months on our postpaid service. However, we do provide the best value in the industry on all of our products and services.
Kyle D: And the full discount upgrade is the same price that anyone can get who walks off the street. I have not missed a payment in two years...I had planned on signing up with you all again for another two...but at this point, there is absolutely no incentive...I will be paying the same price for a new phone, and even though I feel that I have been a loyal customer, I'll be paying more than I should.
Merwin T: Today this offer is available only to select customers. T-Mobile runs promotional offers and test offers that are available to different groups of customers, and at this time, your account does not qualify. In the future, your account may be eligible for similar type offers.
Merwin T: For some of our test offers, whether or not we extend these offers beyond the initial qualified group depends on response from our customers.
Kyle D: What is the difference between a "post-paid account" and a "smart access account"...
Kyle D: I pay my bill each month after the month of usage
Merwin T: The only difference is that on a Smartaccess account are you have a specific spending balance that you spen on a billing cycle for your account.
Kyle D: Ok...so in essence it is a post-paid account...the only factor is that the customer is allowed only a certain amount for each month to spend
Merwin T: Yes, that is correct. On a Postpaid account, you do not have a maximum spending balance.
Kyle D: So why is a smart access account eligible for an "Unlimited Loyalty" plan? I understand it is a promotional deal targeted for specific customers, but it seems like anyone who has the smart access is getting shafted
Merwin T: I totally understand your situation. However, our system offer targeted promotions to selected customers.Rest assured that this will be escalated so that appropriate action can be taken if necessary.
Merwin T: Is there anything else we can assist you with today?
Kyle D: Yes...if I want to cancel this plan that I have now...without paying an ETF...when is the best day to do it?
Kyle D: April 2, 2009?
Merwin T: Yes, that is correct.
Kyle D: I do not want to pay an ETF, or any charges for that month
Merwin T: You will not be charged an Early Termination Fee as long as you close your account after your contract expires.
Kyle D: Alright, and if I call on April 2, 2009, I will not have to pay for that month's services right?
Merwin T: Yes, that is correct.
Kyle D: Very good...I appreciate your time
Merwin T: You are very much welcome, Kyle. Is there anything else I can help you with?
Kyle D: No thank you...have a good day Merwin
Merwin T: Thank you for visiting T-Mobile chat. Have a great day!
So even though smart access is post-paid technically, it's not eligible for whatever reason
BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!